Thursday, April 29, 2004
3:57 PM
dots. stuck in the stupid com lab in my sch now. havin sum dumb pw werkshp. drop dead boring!!! saw him n jonathan quite a few tym juz now. dots pai sae 2 death. cuz i found myslf in a horrible situation. lyk sum mad woman. buden aniwaes, 2dae kinda sucky. forgot 2 bring gp notes. fark. nvm. bye.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Monday, April 26, 2004
9:19 PM
To where you are - josh groban
Music: Richard Marx
Lyrics: Linda Thompson
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
found this lyrics v.meaningful. and i lurve the song. so decided to post it here.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
10:33 PM
just what's wrong with me yesterday? really wonder why did i actually fumble so much during debate. realised the fact that i should give up on it. there's so much potential in debate. ras, cliff, houston n e list just goes on. the fact is that i'm just horrible n lousy. we even lost to YJC. fuck. i'm disappointment to myslf. imagine getting kicked out of debate, where only 2 teams were kicked out. yes, we were one of them. i shd nv haf joined db8. it's a turning point. make it or break it. i'm too tired of all these. i dun wana debate anymore. i tink i shd just quit n join another cca.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
7:58 PM
monday: i fell sick. woke up early in the morning and realised that i was running a super high fever. bah. so it's pretty obvious that i was too lethargic to go school. i suppose it was due to the pw meeting that ended so late, yes, it ended at 2330 in rebecca's hse. and i only reached home at god-knows-what-time. wa piang, so tiring man. slept all the way till 2pm, before i made my way to the doctor, and go back to tjc. had our debate meeting. yup, i'm representing the school this sat. for some IHL debate. i'm 2nd opp. dey gave mi a choice, but i chose 2nd instead of 3rd speaker. found that my assistant cg rep is trying to do sth that he shdn't do. he seem 2 b tellin me negative aspects of my coaches and dat they hate me. i doubt it, seriously. so i shall ignore it.of course, ignoring is equivalent to not placing my trust in him. Golda. gosh, zenon the junior i would say. she talks like a bullet train. hence she is now known as 'ms. bullet train'. nw i seriously tink that she is toot, square, and whatever negative conotationed words there are. feel lyk calling her stupid. but i realised 987fm has dis 'callin u stupid is an insult to stupid ppl!'. therefore, i shall not call her stupid.
oh ya, i was havin my debate bitching session dat day, then liang qi and his class peeps were goin outa sch. wa lao, said bye to me leh. melts. haha. okie.
today: had debate fototaking. jonathan went today. vasudha didn't come. he was pretty funny. finally c the funny side of him. found him quite a nice guy. however, before you begin tinking dat im madly infatuated with him, i stress the fact that he already likes someone else. so forget it. if not, i would haf considered. good news, tml i end at 2.10 and i end at 12.30 on fri! yea!!! haha. anyway, one bad or good thing. i suppose i scored 49/50 for my ancient chinese 'mo xie'. shumin, i made it!!! hahahaha.
shumin: hey come to tjc's guitar, CO, band or 'lu yuan' chinese drama leh. den i watch wif u! hope to c u asap!
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
7:08 PM
hey ppl im back blogging again. i lost the plain eng speaking competition today. n i'm glad! at least i dun sia suay myself at the end of the competition. anyway, guo hao (the asst CG rep) and houston said that i spoke in a v.debating lang. so i lost. haha. i'm so used 2 speaking that way. i can't possibly attain the nice sweet tone that khin was speaking in.
anyway, good things first. bumped into him immed aft hist lect dat day when we were waiting outside our GP room. ya, he came out n said hi to me. -melts- seriously, i was utterly shocked, or rather surprised that he actually said hi to me!!! and there goes the bad part. guo hao conversed with me in chi and asked "is him right?" in a superbly soft voice. in order to check that he wasn't listening, i turned ard and c if he heard. and YES HE DID! ahhhhh... fortunately he smiled at me. haha.
okay, the bad thing today. sum xia lan fucking bus attendant asked me to tear out the 8beam pic on my ez link card. fucker. so no choice tore it, n he literally examined my face on dat pic and stared into my face. doing sum comparison. stupid arsehole, dun he noe hw 2 recognise ppl. fucked up old man. anyway, is bus no. TIB944J. he came up to check the card. and what happened to my pic now? it's in 2 pcs!!! i really hope he loses his job and get rolled over by the long TIBS bus. okay, i shall not b so bad. but at least his foto torn in2 2 parts. or mayb mae him b literally torn into 2 parts. anyway, fucked up.
den dis stupid couple was sitting lyk diagonally infront of me. and they were lyk staring at the space bside mi where i put my file. okay, fine i take that as a signal for me to move in, cuz the hanky panky couple seemed to b v.loving and oni one of dem was on a chair. hence, i was nice enuf to move in. for ur info, that chair was kinda 'run down'? lyk torn, and the sponge inside was lyk erupting out. anyways, ya i moved in. and what happened? e bof of dem juz cant b seperated and eventually a sweaty middle aged guy juz collapsed in2 dat comfy seat!!! dis is juz a fucked up world.
pissed off. bye.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
9:25 PM
sorry for not updating my blog for quite some time. a few updates in my life. firstly, i chose to run for library's exco, despite the great objection from mr. seow [who is a gu niang, whose gestures look like fortune cat.] anyway, i have a super enthusiastic friend who was really nice enough to render her help immediately when i told her that i was running for exco position. yea, she added her name under the seconder list. thanks tissina.
debate is undergoing some restructuring. yes, that means the members of the school team is changing as well. i suppose the chances of me getting kicked out of the school team is extremely high. [i suppose you can use inelastic in terms of economics.] on the other hand, if i manage to get into the debate team, i will run for president of debate. by then, i will b praying and hoping that i don't get any post in library. anyway, the assistant CG rep of my class, is running for president for debate too. talking about my assistant CG rep, sometimes i do wonder how ppl can actually backstab his fellow classmates. just imagine him going to his girlfriend and said "my class girls so kaypo". Unfortunately, he didn't realise the fact that my best friend is in his girlfriend's class. so news do spread fast. hence, do not underestimate the 'kaypo-ness' of girls. he was pretty taken aback when a bunch of us confronted him. but of course, the source of this information will not be revealed to him.
now on to my personal life, a friend of mine msged me today. asking me how's life and stuff. and yes, as usual, going on to the topic if i found any guys and stuff. i suppose feminism got the better of me. i'm starting to be a feminist. or rather i am but it's getting worse. i seem to look down on the J1 arts stream guys of my school. bad impression other than my CG rep who's a gentleman. BUT, i stress that i do not take him as a guy, shd sae a fellow 'jie mei'. i can't believe how bitchy an arts stream guy can be, so inquisitive and trying to noe which guy i like in tj. juz imagine a fellow accquaintance bugging u for an hr on the fone trying to find out who is my dream prince charming.
i'm currently reading my testimonials, narcisstic u may say, but i realised a trend in my testimonials. looks like all the jc friends are calling me frank. am i really that frank? is frankness good? it looks like all my jc friends can c my frankness. gosh, doesn't that mean that it's really obvious that i'm straightforward. i'm hoping that it won't hurt the fragile heart of anyone. if i did, im really apologetic. but if i ought to, i'm not apologetic at all and i'm pretty glad cuz it might do them some good, let them repent and do some reflection.
okay, end of my endless entry. [contradiction isn't it? bleah, who cares?]
bye.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
12:48 PM
i'm stucked in the hub (a nicer name for computer lab), stoning 50 minutes of my life away. i seriously need to reconsider if i should stay on in debate. i'm sick of all the philosophical and practical aspects of arguing. it seems to serve no purpose in my life. the 'sickness' of it seemed to have turned into a sense of fear. my worst fear. fear of failure. fear of failing to my dream jc - victoria jc. yes, the friendlies is tommorow and we are supposed to prepare with joshua later at BK in bedok town central. bad environment to work in though.
i envy the seniors. people who seem to be happily playing 3D simpsons chess while we are cracking our heads to think of a bloody Line Of Contention, except for one nice senior who seem to at least have the heart of pitying us and render some help instead of running out for lunch. i stress upon the fact that she is only a member, yes, one and only member. the rest there were all EXCO members, playing a game of homosexual chess.
im depressed. sick and tired of debating. it has been my passion all the while, but everything seems to have gone to waste. i no longer love my passion. so what exactly do i want in life? isn't going on SIA debates all the while my aim? i'm lost. i seriously don't know what is going on in my life too. maybe i should have run for student council, then i wouldn't be in such dilemma anymore.
anyway, this friendly match is not the only depresssing issue that i'm facing. i'm selected for the plain speaking english competition. yes, another stupid competition. i didn't reject her offer based on 3 grounds.
firstly, i shouldn't reject my CT cause it's against my conscience.
secondly, talking crap is my hobby so maybe i should talk crap once again.
thirdly, i can bring up glaring issues (if i want to) so that i can be sacarstic against some people.
Therefore, i shall go for the competition.
lastly, i'm seriously against my european history teacher. somtimes i just feel like taking a bloody mirror and ask him to look at himself. his gesturing is just a great distractor. hence, i don't see why a little talking from me affects the whole class. in addition, i've quietened down quite abit since secondary school. moreover, i'm not the only one who talks, and i'm one who doesn't talk that loudly either. fuck himself. did i mention that my phone made some sounds today? ya, i wanted to play 'beach rally' on my phone today during history lecture, only to realise that it started producing weird jingles at the introduction of the game. this has of course, received much attention from the cohort of history students. that was it. jane and i started giggling and stuff. and there goes that old bald man, asking me to stop laughing infront of the whole cohort of history students. i mean hellO? im sitting at the last row and what the hell is your problem? oh, fuck himself again. tons of students talked and made noise and giggled, but why the hell are you picking on me time and time again. i decided to shut up during your lessons and when you ask me questions i shall shut up too. how i wish i can just throw him into some pool full of sharks and just gobble him down. opps, sorry, not gobble him down. such an easy death. i hope he is being minced to death. stupid asshole.
Okay, that's all for now. debate preparation later. sucks.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
1:06 PM
my mum is a historical monument. still living in the 18th century i suppose. still living with the mindset that one should not publish what happened in one's family or post their disapproval of their family member's acts in the blog. so, ladies and gentlemen, what the hell is a blog for? to post how infatuated i am with a guy in JC, or how much i spent within a day when i'm out with my friends? gosh, how interesting can one's life be. i think she is sick. she really needs some counselling from the chalet near my house. if that's all i can post in blogs, then all blogs can shut down by now. fucked up life. duh.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
Friday, April 02, 2004
9:32 PM
sorry for the delay in my entry. life has been quite bad for me. met up with my sec sch friends and shumin for the pass few days. had KFC with my sec sch friends, and these KFC meals took up 3 of my dinners within this week. YIKES! had subway with shumin. another pathetic experience. it was supposedly soft bread, but it turned out to be one of the hardest i've ever tasted. hurts my teeth, but forget it. therefore, i didn't have the guts to try the opening of the subway in my school today. not really in the mood after the terrible experience.
anyway, let's look at the brighter side of life. i found myself grinning from ear to ear when i saw liang qi. yaya, u prolly know the reason. saw him thrice today. kinda happy. but i found myself in a horrible state when i was crossing the road with jane to catch a cab. gosh, it was raining and he was like not using any umbrella. and there i was, with jane, looking like 2 aunties coming out from TJ carrying some horrendously ugly umbrellas, with tons of books in our hands, and literally unkempt hair. i have no more reputation. saw his bewildered look. still find him v.cute with such an expression. wanted to add him in friendster, but din really have the guts to. so forget it. okay, enough of mr. prince charming.
it's CVSS speech day tomorrow. and its obvious with people as committed as me, the school will prolly have super little alumni members returning. can't imagine how ppl can actually be so committed to the alma mater. they must be mad! what good has CVSS done to me other than helping me in a way or another of getting into TJ. firstly, it is definitely not the claustrophobic compound. secondly, not all the nice screwed up teachers rendered their helping hand [when they are supposed to...]. thirdly, it's not my 'junior' factor. only miss steph kok n co. nothing much. lastly, it will definitely confirm, guarantee plus chop that it is NOT the principal. so why the heck should i go back to CVSS? hence, the verdict is that i will never go back unnecessarily.
back to my passion - debate. yes, it's another debate session tomorrow. but the most dreadful part, prep. yucks. how can one ever tolerate such boring sessions?! but anyways, its prep against VJ so i better put in my heart and soul and just go do what im supposed to do.
okay, despite me saying that im gona put my heart and soul, i hereby announce that i'll leave earlier tomorrow. because i have to go celebrate kel's bday with the bunch of peeps. hopefully its an enjoyable one. i had a hard time getting her dearest, but the suckiest 5566 stuff. can't imagine how much courage i've gathered just to open my golden mouth and ask the uncle in some stupid shop for a 5566 poster. okay, time to sleep. [this phrase kinda reminds me of the last daikin advert. then dey go 'yes ma..' blah blah blah] okie, enuf of me blabbering. good nights.
* it's because of you,That star exists.
