it's clear, plain, white. C=

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
9:47 PM

Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

8:54 PM

i managed to be extremely cold. ironically, i'm feeling very bad.

i just cannot continue with such attitude. it's really tiring.

maybe i will just ignore the calls in future.

***

out with kelly and kaijia just now. hung around town. kelly went for a shopping spree. kaijia got her x'mas pressie. i've yet to decide my x'mas pressie. and guess what? i didn't buy a SINGLE THING. hee* see, i CAN SAVE MONEY TOO.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Monday, December 27, 2004
6:38 PM

i donated $1.50 to watson's in compass point. jo witnessed the donation. =C

received hippo's x'mas card. really touched by it.

i do need alittle more time. i hope i don't need to make the same resolution next year.

i'm really tired. it's time for me to focus.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Sunday, December 26, 2004
3:07 PM

amount of time spent in the dinning room ( doing homework ) ---> 20 minutes
amount of time spent in the living room ( using computer and watching MTV channel ) ---> 2 hours

i am SO dead.

out with reb yesterday. talk about homework. realised that i only have a week left to the reopening of HELL. argh. the thought of the looming A levels, lectures, tutorials and PE LESSONS!!! omg. i so wanna die. cross country next year. eww.

of course, the TWO tests when school reopen. but heck.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Friday, December 24, 2004
11:37 PM

just returned from two celebrations.
i'm extremely tired.
quite alot of exchanging of gifts.
one of my cousins gave me a POP swatch. C=

my dad is ransacking the house.
virtually tearing the house down.
why?
looking for a box of cds.

omg.

so nice of my dad.

the coffee is not effective at all.
i'm sooooo sleepy.

out to town tomorrow. AGAIN.
at least i'm out with nice company. C=

erm, do not be mistaken.
really my good friend. C=

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Thursday, December 23, 2004
11:26 AM

i can't access my hotmail.
i can't go out due to my "impediment".
i can't read the testimonial whoever gave me.

UGH.

WHAT IS SO FREAKINGLY WRONG?

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
1:39 PM

my $12 bucks ( i mean $24 ) just dissappeared like that. what a band concert.

just imagine a couple had nothing better to do. decided to enter VCH to watch a concert. got the tix and went in, with the hope to enjoy a nice concert. despite the terrible music they tried their best to enjoy it. SUDDENLY. "XIAO LAO HU/SU" if you literally translate that, it would be "small tiger or small mouse". WOW. how entertaining! THEN, the band tried their very best to create the X'mas mood. but, it backfired. it sounded more like disconnected pieces of music and unknown screams on the stage. erm, yups not forgetting the two poor girls using the "SNOW" spray cans, trying their best to create the "SNOWY" effect. ugh. LASTLY, people started screaming "ENCORE! ENCORE!". O-K-A-Y enthusiastic people. but sharir was really cool. haha* "HUI JIA! HUI JIA!" which means go home. haha* nice one.

oh the music dedicated to mrs wong was PERFECT. LURVE that piece. ( it's not because it was really nice. but it sounded like something else. )

midsean is so super nice. but i don't think he can get all his money back. left for dinner immediately after that. shall not go out in big groups in future.

dad was extremely happy when he saw the phone. finally he can stop using 3310, which he got soooo frustrated with. well, i'm returning the choc though. my family is currently involved in a vehement arguement, yes, over a piece of chocolate. ARGH. it's ONLY A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE. okay so 3 different people with different stands. dad says digest. mum says display. i say discard. therefore, i've decided to return instead.

hmm, someone looked pretty cool yesterday. haha* okies, enough of that.

right. so my stupid friendster testimonials ANNOUNCED that i am not attached. and shit. a hell lot of crap came along with it. so i came up with the worse story. but hey, it was impromtu. so i broke up with my "bf" hu's initials are __. then we "broke up" ( god knows when we ever stead. ), i was darn depressed then i turned LESBIAN! then i fell for a gurl hu's initials are __ too! UGH!!! apparently that was the best story i can think of there and then. so i told him i'm obsessed with the initials __. gosh. i wonder who the hell will believe that story. but guess what?

"i will help you to go back on track. don't worry."

HEY GUY. ( i know you won't see this though. ) you should really back off if not i will really really turn lesbian. SOOOO IRRITATING!!! UGH. maybe i should tell him that i'm obsessed with human eating the next time. i'm a cannibal. hmm... does this sound?

ok fine. i admit i have terrible storytelling skills. ( e.g midsean and margaret going back to tj with me to clear my locker, cause i got tons of things to carry. i admit that was REALLY STUPID. )

SLY is going to sing this sunday!!! i will be glued to the tv. C= anyone knows where to get that foundation heart thingy?

i'm so dead. tons of xmas pressies yet to be bought.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Monday, December 20, 2004
1:48 AM

reached home alittle while ago. back from town. pretty unlucky today.

weiming's appearance scared the hell out of me.
cecily didn't appear.
went to play pool at the ah bengs and ah beng wannabes area - cuppage plaza. OMG. it's like the world's worst place to play pool. it stinks, people there are like, UNDESCRIBABLE. had to leave ASAP. how i wish we were playing at cine instead. much MORE comfortable. felt really bad after we left. jo and jing bin haven't really played. so sorry.
some banglas could not part with their friends, causing a human jam at the tang's underpass' escalator.
orchard road closed for some parade thingy. an extremely polite policeman shouted at the people who were walking along the road, who were effectively pushed off the pathway by AUNTIES. as if it was his grandfather's road.
AUNTIES. yes. a middle aged cheena woman was screaming, i mean screeching at the top of her lungs, when she was BESIDE me. apparently, i wasn't her targetted victim. it was the whole group of SENIOR CITIZENS behind her. i quote "wo shi ni men de I/C ah.. ni men na li ke yi zou wo de qian mian!!! wei she me mei you deng wo!!!" if i were to literally translate it, it would be "i am your I/C ah.. you all how can walk in front of me!!! why didn't you all wait for me!!!" omg. with a voice like that, i am amazed that the people were still within her sight.
the shaw house macdonald's was really slow. they took like 10 minutes to get the large fries done. btw, that was with the power of questioning them.
surfbabe, quicksilver, flash n splash were closed by 10. argh.
when we managed to see light when we reach dhoby ghaut mrt, another bunch of banglas filming her going down the escalator. once again, there was human jam. argh.
finally when we boarded the train, another bangla sat on the floor beside me, with bags of vegetables. look at pt 12 for continuation.
a middle aged guy puked in the same carriage as us twice. stinky.
the point is that after he stood up, i realised that his bags of vegetables were placed above the pool of vomit.
my tables are once again cleared by my maid for the 12th time. and yes, she applied her initiative for 12 times. in fact, she shouldn't even have cleaned them. where are my notes now? the main rubbish chute.
heard about another bitch in the education industry. omg. real spendthrift. i'm really pretty disgusted by her.

i'm so sleepy. became a complain box for 1hr and 29 mins. if i add my grouses, as well as the person who complained, i'm gonna frown for the rest of my life.

talk about happy stuff. dad and mum got me the braun buffel handbag. C= the bronze one. it's my christmas present! really appreciate them. haha* i'm realistic eh? as in, my dad got me the mp3 as well as the digi cam ( he decided not to deduct the cost from my account ). my mum paid for all the stuff i bought from marks and spencer ( which can amount up to quite alot ). so nice of them. C=

kinda enjoyed today's outing. took some pictures. hopefully jo can scan them and i can steal them. hee* caught blade trinity. although it's action packed, it fulfills the criteria of a comedy instead of whatever-it-is. the mechanical hand. hehe*

had swensens at PS ( think jing bin has finally learnt the true essence of service charge ). had NYDC at heerens.

well, i seriously do not miss mrs wong. i have to admit that. apparently, i did not comment about it just now. i just cannot accept the fact that she's so bitchy as to ask people not to change my testimonial. what a biatch.

CONCLUSION : cool guys were in white polo tees today. ( especially the one at heerens. haha* ) thought that he looked alittle like daniel in VJ. hmm.. C=

note: it's "cool guys were in white" not "guys in white were cool".
great difference here. ( jo if you realised that the difference in the sentences would make a BIG difference in the people who are included in the cool guys list. , ie JB )

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Saturday, December 18, 2004
10:13 PM

quite alot of deaths recently.

as in famous people.

i think this is the third consecutive death i heard on news.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

8:15 PM

life can never be better.
slacking.
drinking iced cafe latte.
watching the AUNTIE of all AUNTIE programmes, PSC.
but of course, there is six plus. C=

my sore throat is getting worse.

letter for shumin has gone into its 3rd edition. hopefully there won't be anymore changes. so, let my life remain this way so i can send this letter out on monday.

feeling much better now. as in emotionally. thought through everything. finally got everything prioritised. hopefully i will be able to juggle everything like i did in secondary school. i hope alumni will be alright after mrs lee taking over. of course, hope that the new principal will support alumni. things will probably be easier then.

my aunt ringed me up minutes ago. pretty touched. it was just a simple gesture, calling to make sure everything is fine. i shall get her a nice pressie for xmas. C=

fundamental questions for xmas. who and what.

process of pondering.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

1:54 AM

just saw a friend's blog.

recalled certain stuff.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

1:36 AM

it's time that i start doing my homework.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

1:06 AM

ok great. i'm like watching tv now. and guess what? a horror movie. sorry, it's a nearly RA movie filmed in a cemetery.

gross.

IM BORED!!!

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Thursday, December 16, 2004
10:31 PM

haha* erm, i think it was either before BP mentoring or wif reb after we cleared our lockers. hee* at parkway!!!

* it's because of you,That star exists.

10:30 PM

first pic weiming drew. amazing. not a bad artist eh?

* it's because of you,That star exists.

10:29 PM

second picture drawn by weiming. i thought it was pretty nice. of course, he ain't satisfied with this pic.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

10:04 PM

feel like going to vch to catch the band concert.

band concert anyone?

***

hmm. i have FOUR case studies instead of THREE.

guess what? i only realised that TODAY!

whee.

how fast.

***

menu of the day.

iced cafe latte ( regular )

egg pita

pizza

black forest ice blended ( regular )

i'm a coffee bean activist. ( disregarding the pizza )

***

what i've done for the past 24 hours : less than ONE case study.

applause.

at least i BOTHERED to do.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

3:28 PM

gotten over.

moved on.

***

declaration of freedom: today till 20th december.

only five days.

crave04 on the 22nd.

no freedom then, then again, maybe i will have freedom.

waiting for reb's reply.

***

shumin's pressie is still here.

so guilty.

***

tml is recruitment for alumni.

will head for american embassy to return stuff for my dad.

then back home. HOPEFULLY i have the will to continue with my 10% ( or maybe less ) done homework.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
1:15 AM

skipped the dinner! hoho* and i am now seriously down with a sore throat. was out with bernie today. got myself a new pair of heels from URS, a perlini's silver alpha pendant, and erm, something from far east. hee*

in addition to the above, i paid a 25% deposit for RYU SHI WON's CD!!! i paid $17.50. go calculate the full amount. you'll be shocked.

should be getting the CD within a month. cannot wait to get it.

dental appointment tomorrow. down town again.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Monday, December 13, 2004
8:40 PM

i won't be getting the hershey kiss.

reason : he's fighting with his mum for it for fun.

regardless of whether it is for his mum or hopefully for someone of more importance, i really really do hope that i don't get it. basically, i just don't want anything from him.

he called me just now. quite happy that he ain't angry anymore. come to think of it, i was really mean to him. i admit that i'm stubborn. wanted to sms him the word sorry. but i just couldn't. i can phatom the phrase "sorry seems to be the hardest word" now.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

7:11 PM

went out with mrs chew today. and i'm proud to say that i didn't buy a single thing. C= *sense of satisfaction* but then again, i'm not in the mood to shop either. bitched quite alot. got to know loads of office politics, as well as students' secrets.

***

life is so vulnerable. so it's confirmed. manda's teacher passed away during his honeymoon in NZ, in a car crash. at least he died with his wife. may they rest in peace.

***

meeting bernie tml. so she's going to melbourne uni next year. great, she'll come back with a degree when i'm in my second year ( if i don't get retained next year ) of uni in singapore. she can pay to get into law. well, looks like it's not that easy to get into singapore's law faculty.

***

it's time to forget all my troubles man. really feel very bad not going tomorrow. feel like i'm letting zaidi down. then again, it's really time that i prioritise.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

1:37 AM

i've decided not to attend the dinner on tuesday after all. since there is a high possibility that zaidi is not turning up, meaning that there is no obligation for me to go. it's shopping time!!!

bought a roxy pencil case from city square just now. by the way, i walked my way back to singapore alone. cool eh? pretty fun. should ask reb to come join in the fun. she would have admired the bangladeshi who were walking across.

the retreat was pretty boring. of course, the free and easy time was pretty fun in pei shan's room. think the RI boys must really be stunned by us. looking at the number of times shawn blushed. as he said "my sunburns had sunburns too." well, shawn was pretty on and fun. of course, realising the fact that he likes jay chou and sly as well. C= bing wen and his taufik obsession. i finally get to see a GEPer. and of course, kennedy and his potential of being gay. i am just not convinced that kennedy is straight. my prediction ten years down the road... hee*

realised that sec 2 RI boys are of a much higher calibre as compared to sec FOUR cvss boys. sad sad sad.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

1:16 AM

the nature of the committee : STUPID.

the committee spent approximately $350. so stanwin and margaret are coughing up $50 each. very noble i should say. apparently, i was harrassed for money TOO. dumbass zr called me and asked me to drink less coffee and take less cab in order to provide $30 for that committee.

What he FAILED to realise is that my mum is EXTREMELY against the formation of this committee, one. hates the star of that night, two. does not want me to provide money for this dumb event, three.

So what was his objective? to eventually pay less, period.

whatever. i shall be nice and forget that incident.

guess what. zr called AGAIN! nothing much, only informing me that zaidi wants me to be emcee together with margaret. well, too bad. his luck. apparently, i hung up the phone before he finished the conversation. yes, so much for being a wannabe snag. kid me. so MCP. well, unless he is daft to the extent that he didn't realise me messaging zaidi, well, that's really too bad. i don't want to bother too much. oh yes, now he brings in the "lk my fucking fault". great. think he's really pissed. but, what can i do?

so, decided to reply zaidi instead. had enough of all these crap. it's a small event, but dedicated people are going the extra mile. extremely apologetic but my relation with that school has ended like god knows how long. other than the responsibility of a treasurer of the alumni, i don't think there's anything i should do for the school. what more, the principal.

i'm not obliged to be the emcee. therefore, i will not. i believe she doesn't want to be insulted that night.

i've had enough with this shit. fucked up.

i'm really really pissed.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Friday, December 10, 2004
8:55 PM

the 'celebration' has amounted up to a humble sum of approximately $350. how HUMBLE.

it looks like he's a really nice person. so concerned about all his friends, by reading their blogs. especially girls. i seriously hope that he don't regard me as a friend. hopefully he doesn't read my blog.

don't know why. just feel like breaking down. maybe it's because of all the work and stuff. really feel v.guilty. talked to him for so long that day. really feel like paying the bill instead.

a total of 3 people shared their problems with me yesterday. becoming so immune to such stuff. well, really happy for a friend of mine. hopefully this will be the one for her. C=

my other friend likes this girl, who already has a bf. "if she's happy, i'll be happy too." well, is that true?

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Thursday, December 09, 2004
11:35 AM

FINALLY. i told her off. i've had enough, as in ENOUGH of her drama. it was utterly dramatic. i still cannot understand why stanwin and my arguement would put her in such a difficult position.

i believe none of us complained to her
we no longer quarrel ( in fact, we don't even talk )
even if we quarrelled, why the hell would we need to add you into the conversation to quarrel?

you are just a microrbe. why make such a big fuss?

you are always the busiest, the most noble, most hardworking and the most stressed up. your poly life is so busy, so hectic, so much tougher than a jc student. your job is the most challenging one on earth ( i.e cutting of cardboard boxes ). so challenging that it makes jc tutorials seem like nothing. i so cannot stand that tremendous drama mama-ness during yesterday's meeting. i'm so gonna puke. i never knew doing up photos was such a difficult task. surprisingly, i do complete the scanning of photos and stuff in the hub pretty quickly. ha* talk about productivity.

another entertaining person during the meeting yesterday. tay siew yang. slowly but surely, he is getting onto my nerves. other than his underage driving and speeding infront of the traffic police headquarters near ubi, his understanding for the word fuck is extremely shallow. of course, i can't expect much from him, can i? just when i suggested something, *thum* there comes the shallow word. the moment i asked him if he understood the meaning and asked him to check the dictionary before scolding, he said that shallow word again. can't you just put things into context? so much for being a cvss breed.

RIGHT.

Before i made that mistake ( i.e to go for the dumb meeting ), hung around suntec and raffles city with rexo manda ( funky gurl ). haha* well, stayed all the way till 4pm just to see boon kiat. definitely, better looking now. since he has staff discount, i decided to clear my purse yesterday. list of things i bought yesterday : -

A4 file from Prints
Corduroy sling bag from Esprit
Two sets of towels from Esprit ( black and pink )
Year 2005 notebook from Esprit
Small umbrella from Esprit
"Free" fragrance from Red Earth

And i proudly announce that my ATM account has S$5.86 after all my shopping. And yes, not even a single cent in my wallet. i will declare bankrupt after a mac donald extra value meal.

i think my chocolate is back. since i didn't hear anything from the delivery man, then maybe i should just forget about that piece of chocolate.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004
11:16 PM

ELATED. C=

talked for approximately an hour.

just when i needed a listening ear.

the advice was really good.

i shall heed the advice.

it was indeed an expensive chat.

i'm going to receive a gigantic hershey's kiss.

it's a 10cm X 10cm X 15cm chocolate.

i will take a photo of it once i receive it.

it shall be the first photo in my digicam.

but of course, the person must first be back.

hope to see my chocolate as soon as possible.

well, maybe it's not just the chocolate. C=

* it's because of you,That star exists.

2:04 AM

so zr is indispensible after all.

really hope that he can come back asap.

how i wish he can help in all these committee stuff.

just feel like crying at this point of time.

don't really expect him to reply my msg.

can someone console me.

or just wake me up.

tell me how dumb i am to join this committee full of structural inefficacies.

where is my pillar of strength?

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Monday, December 06, 2004
11:58 PM

how fucked up can things get?

so what if i am in the committee? i'm not OBLIGED to do whatever that is NOT within my job scope. i'm just rendering a helping hand. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. don't expect me to go the extra mile.

I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING THAT IS NOT WITHIN MY JOB SCOPE FROM NOW ON.

i will only do a freaking chapter. THAT'S ALL.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Thursday, December 02, 2004
11:26 PM

i really suspect the reliability of some soap opera. not the debate of course. i'm referring to SOME OTHER soap opera, rather DRAMA. i found several loopholes. i did reveal it. and the attempt to cover it was rather good. of course, there were still loopholes.

that's it. i'm really going to trust selective, and i do mean SELECTIVE people.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

10:51 PM

i am so sorry TAUFU*K, i mean taufik fans, but i have to say. TAUFIK IS FUCKED UP. it's not about being sore, like what EDWARD said. But i just thought that taufik didn't deserve to win.

I would use the analogy of rubben studdard and clay aiken. This is what i foresee their future to be in the music industry. Can't stand taufik. he was a serious replica of rubben. Except his bod of course. And i DO agree that taufik has a pretty gd bod. but as a singapore idol, MUCH LESS A WORLD IDOL. PUKE.

* it's because of you,That star exists.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004
3:13 PM

it's the FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!

Hopefully Taufik goes off tune. Since he has been sick all this while, let him continue to be sick. If not, worsen. hahaha* ok, i'm cynical.

I declare that I HATE, LOATHE, DETEST OLINDA NOW. How can she ever ask her fans to vote for dumbass Taufik. She's biased.

I quote "if you have it, flaunt it." So Olinda flaunts her fats. BLEAH.

Shall get a tub of haagen daz for tonight's final showdown.

There's debate training tomorrow.

* it's because of you,That star exists.