Whatever.

2005-09-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

BLOG CLOSED.
TILL THEN.

2005-09-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

SHE DESERVES IT.

HE DOESN'T.

PIECE OF CRAP.

2005-08-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

things are not as simple as they seem.
no wonder the introduction of the word 'facade'.
i hate my life now.
get me out of it.
Welcome to my life.

i never thought that i was naive.
but, WHY AM I SO NAIVE THIS TIME.
ohmygawd.
i'm naive after all.

2005-08-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

if you are trying to see how well i fare as a reporter/journalist in future, check out my Futile attempt to succeed.

~~LESS THAN HALF of~~ the JC 2 cohort assembled at Temasek square for the last time, before they go for their study break. Many were enthusiastic, when Principal of Teejaysee said "i'm really touched by the fact that the J2 students are back today!" We can only infer that she has relatively bad eyesight, as opposed to the many other J2 students who realised the disappearance of their MANY many classmates.

As every typical, traditional school in Singapore would do, the mundane concert would inevitably take the longest of time during the celebration. The marginal utility curve has proven itself once again, even in the most abstract sense ( i.e in a case like this ). The interest one has for the very 'ENTERTAINING' concert, varies indirectly with the number of years one has been in the conventional education system. However, we cannot deny the fact that the SC's attempt to bring up the spirits of the ~~really bored~~ crowd.

The class outing this round has way exceeded it's 'usual six'. I suppose only two didn't make it today, with one sick and one mugging. ( P.S MS EE PLS FOR GOODNESS SAKE TAKE CARE OF URSELF AT THIS PT OF TIME. ) Molly has indeed left an etch in our minds, may it be positive or negative. I believe we have too, left an etch in her mind. Be it getting to know a fatherly figure, or a 'fiery' figure, who may at any point of time burn her, or slice her with the chopper ( RIGHT HUMAN TORCH? ), we must have scared the shit out of her ( and i must have been out of my mind to clear her puke. what the hell is wrong with me? ).

OKIE ENOUGH. my attempt is not only futile, but it's mutating into my typical blog entry.

Met Hippo today!!! Yea! Loads of fun as usual!!!
Ms Fu!!! Thanks for that mooncake! i shall savour it with Chinese tea tml. C=
Lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KETTLE!!!

loads of pics to upload. another day maybe. i'm so tired. btw, huang yida ain't that good.

2005-08-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

so many thoughts,
so much to say,
yet i got no idea where to begin.

superstar results.
kelly got in!!!
UNFORTUNATELY, weilian got in too.
WHY!!! YIKES.
Junyang's image is improving.
and leon is amazingly cute.

Jane is fantastic.
Hainan Jie will hit the weakest spot.
Ostracised's mood is adversely affected.
Dearie, no matter what is happening,
take it in stride.
i'm taking it in my stride,
u must too man!
don't affect your mood okie?
i v.guilty u noe!!!
be happy!
if not im gonna be angry!!!
buden as if i angry affect u rite?
okie, just STAY HAPPY okie? kuai le kuai le!!!

2005-08-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

Fantastic.
now everything is out.
i now finally noe how she feels.
so i cry i win.
great.
if only i have tears now,
i will squeeze them out.
if you think that, that is my aim.
let it be then.
i'm scheming.
and i'm dying for sympathy from people.

doesn't it just boil down to the fact that problems are never solved?
it's always the same in all situations.
if only chocs and cookies are solutions to problems,
i will be grinning from ear to ear now.

i'm selfish and unreasonable.
i SO gotta agree.
so much so that i wonder why i stay by my friend whenever she's in need.

i'm satisfied for the effort you've put in,
but maybe when i put it on the balance,
i see my end sinking down.
isn't it supposed to balance?

For all i know,
i will still be here if you need me.
it's a pivotal point.
it's either side we are moving towards.
for what is happening now,
i'm really pessimistic.

i've changed my perspective of people.
because people change.
Zixin, thanks for changing,
and my perspective of you has changed.
i'm glad you've changed yours too.
lets cherish the next one week. C=

Peeps, thanks SO much. C=

2005-08-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

i was just thinking of the number of times i've made my bestie happy, and the number of times i've made her sad.
then i thought of the number of times i've made her happy, and sad.
maybe i left out alot on the parts when i made her sad. i realised that i stood by her. but she wasn't there for me, when i hoped she was. i looked around me, everyone was there with their bestie. the whole table of peeps were, except me. it's worse when you're falling ill, and ur bestie ain't there for u.
but how much should i expect from her? so many people have to be mobilised to ask her just to do something.. how can i even expect her to be there for me rite?
or is it because i expect too much? precisely y i keep blaming myself for stupidly giving in. y should i even bother waking up at 7oddAM rite? just to console a friend who might not be appreciative. maybe what sohtahpia said is rite, u gif for e sake of givin. u shdn't hope for something in return. maybe i just shouldn't expect too much.
and maybe i shouldn't give so much.

2005-08-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

There goes my LV cherry wallet.
Sold out around the world.
Can Patricia Mok sell it to me at retail price?
i won't really mind.

it's okie.
i've set my eyes on something else.
LV denim handbag.
but i really need to cultivate more feelings for that bag.
i just don't love it as much as that wallet.
WHY!!! what a disappointment.

everything resembles the cherry wallet's design.
in fact, everything reminds me of it.
ranging from cherry mugger to the auntie's top at Thasevi Prata Shop.

and my Dad took the last popcicle choc available in the fridge.
whatthehell.
leaving the last bar of choc in the fridge.
my fortnightly supplies ( i.e mon cheri choc, kinder bueno, popcicle choc ) all gone.
why does he need SO many chocs?
hmm okie.

gonna be like away from blogging for weeks again.

2005-08-14T15:14:00.000+08:00

i'm losing faith in everything.
i'm not giving it a shot.
because i fear.
i fear revealing the fragile side of me.
i prefer things the way it is now.
i will be less troubled.

give me a day of TOTAL free speech,
like there is this day when no one can sue me for slander or any shit,
i will condemn every single microbe of those that i hate.
but it's not like as if those i don't like can afford to sue me.
okie, i sound super bitchy now.
anyway, i admit that i'm more or less one.
so who the hell gives a damn?

yesterday's bbq was more or less a flop.
until like towards the end, it became like better?
anyway those hai sing peeps ( other than the 2 sec 4s, who apparently are way more mature than THOSE kiddos. ) were DISGUSTING.
i can't believe that they said "let's start eating" or "kai1 dong4" in some foreign language.
if i didn't make it out wrongly,
it should be jap.
what an insult to that language.
typical fake von dutch girls. CHEAPO.

okie, that's all for these few days.
i'm not very happy.
so ya.
just don't irritate me.

2005-08-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

Haven't been updating for like dino years.
Quick updates.

Didn't get to meet my class peeps on monday.
feeling really guilty.
and it's worse when my dearie invisible woman and human torch won the bet.
boo.

caught the fireworks with hippo.
really pretty!
saw FIR and we got really high.
haha*

wanted to catch THE MAID.
but as usual,
i simply lack the guts.

was out with Ms Fu last Friday evening.
got 2 pretty earrings.
and it's SO FREAKINGLY CHEAP!

decided to get C.Chew gift certs instead.
Aussino is the choice.

i think i'm giving it a shot.
maybe i will be happier then.

2005-08-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

the kbox session was amazing.
SOOO FUN!!!
photos soon to come.

went out with Ms Fu just now.
Hung around 'FE Fashion Store'.
Keep meeting the seven dragon balls that i'm super allergic to.
Especially those within that spectrum of colour range.
then i saw Pure pink stuff.
like what's next?

i'm back to bitching about her.
Looks like Ms Fu and i are back to status quo.
Tho i'm just praying that i hear less about it.
Pray that all i hear,
will always be what i heard while hanging out with Ostracised.
hahaha*

gd nite ppl!

2005-08-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

i wonder how many buckets of tears i've shed over the past week.
i thought to myself, is my bestie worth the tears?
then again, is it worth giving up a bestie just like that?
Nope.

i'm so glad that this friendship has been salvaged.
certain issues have yet to be resolved.
i cannot accept,
and i cannot forget.
the wound is too deep,
all that would remain,
would prolly be the scar that serves as a lesson for me.
it's my fault,
my lousy judgement.

i'm beginning to question another person as well.
it's disgusting to see the protection this person would provide for the other.
unrequited.
flabberghasted.

i just love the peeps more and more.
the sweeties, hainan jie n co.
thanks for all that you guys have done,
the postcard,
the advice, etc.
if not for that,
i will never try to accept or give in.
but i know,
even if i try,
i will still be myself.
i won't be entirely happy,
but i will probably live with her existence for the next 15 days or so?
hi bye friends?
no way.
yikes.

i'm happy for what it is now.
Ms Fu you are a wonderful bestie. C=

PROJECT MS FUs coming soon.

2005-07-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

There are two types of darlings in my life.
1 - Jane, Hainan Jie, Ostracised, Kettle, Foo Sao, June, Sweeties, Kayan.
2 - that ONE N ONLY ONE.

Which is positive, which is negative, go decipher it yourself.

Dearest Human Torch, HE is not ZHIYONG. hahaha* your chinese pronunciation sucks la. go check it out again okie? By the way, tell me where is that obscure shop - Refugee @ Bugis okie? hmm THIRTY DOLLAR TEE.

I just love June and Jane so much!!! My endless bitching during econs lecture makes life so much more bearable! Jane!!! one day we must go talk talk okie? we haven't finish our conversation!!! and derrick is MINE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!! okie, tho he prolly won't see this. had a crazy evening with ostracised before the celebration. Symphony 92.4!!! Ostracised we shall go hog a timeslot with Symphony 924 okie? Hahaha* chaotic celebration, but it was FUN!!! whee! haven't gone out with these peeps since like when? last year's steamboat? Hainan Jie, photos photos!!!

ohmygawd, i cannot believe the cheena-ism in teejayseans. who the hell would go to a hongkong teahouse shop name kinda place to flaunt their vocals? extreme desperation. mygawd. it reminds me this scene of like some taiwan red light district or sth. then maybe you can see some gays, lesbians and trans hanging around. okie okie, thinking too much.

i've never seen a SUCKIER GUY THAN ZHEN* A* ( realising the fact that i maybe sued for defaming someone, who indirectly defamed my class, should just sublimate. ) if he is so smart, he would have been in hc/rj/vj and he prolly won't get E8 for Higher Chinese. stop trying to put layers and layers of concealer. it just doesn't help. like your flaws are just WAY TOO MUCH TO COVER. ( i.e this can apply to several ppl. )

So many things happened recently. Don't think i'm gonna say much about ms fu's darling ( i.e my darling too. opps. i just spilt the beans. ref. para 1. ) don't like to co exist in a world with a darling like that. hence, my noble decision. which i still think, not very wrong wad. at least i'm happier, at most ms fu u suffer abit lor? but JANE, JUNE be prepared okie? i'm gonna throw you comments like bullets. hahaha* whee!!! JUNE I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! pray that i can make it for wednesday's.

Ostracised! Keep me updated abt Sunday!

Looking forward to the fireworks outing! wait. terms and conditions applied.

2005-07-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

Enjoyed my time with Manda.
Went round town, got the 3 AO Math peeps their gifts.

I realised that i miss him.
i got lots to tell him.
i want to cry to him.
But he ain't here.

Foo Sao, thank you. Love you lots!
You r the best venting machine ever!
Haha*
You rawk gurl.

Period.

2005-07-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

finally stepped down from debate.
it's nice because i no longer need to be responsible enough to attend debate sessions.
wrong,
at least i no longer need to drag myself there.

gonna miss the times collaborating with wulan,
leaving super duper early and hanging ard town.

gonna miss the exco,
tho i dun go THAT often.
but there are really nice peeps.
of course, there are certain ones that..
hur.

Leave Your Old Self Behind.
i love the Nike advert.
meaningful.

B is increasingly nice.
i mean relatively better as compared to the past.
if B continues to be this way,
one eyesore down.
one left.
but that can prolly nv be changed,
since i know even more now.
ohmygawd.
how disgusting.
but nvm,
three more months and that's all.
JUNE!!!
WE MUST MEET OUR AIM OKIE?

i'm going to blow up very soon.
maybe very out of proportion.
take Ms Fu's Best Friend for example,
approached the canteen
and i practically stormed off.
but well,
is just an eyesore la.
just super irritated.
other examples too.
just too lazy to list them down.
and Ms Fu caught up super fast,
and walked faster den me.

Met up with Wulan before debate,
so glad to see her again.
glad that she's fine. C=
this is prolly the last time we go out anyways.
sad sad.

Ms Fu,
thanks for the Kinder Bueno. C=
i can be happy for at least three days.

I love the RHD photos.

2005-07-16T15:28:00.000+08:00

maybe this cvss student is really in need of money,
but there are really many MANY more ways to earn money,
than to put that UGLY TABLECLOTH on YAHOO AUCTION???
OHMYGAWD.
i so wanna die.
like why will people auction for a TABLECLOTH???
gosh,
you really gotta wake up.

The only reason why cvss can be famous,
would probably be the credit of this cvss graduate who committed suicide,
out of LOVE.
it's really sad to how much civics and moral education cvss has given this kid.
but then again,
what's so surprising?
by the time i got into sec 4,
my CME books were never put into use.
other than the times when the HOD wants to check our CME books,
then our form teacher would be frantically giving us answers to copy into the fresh and untouched CME books that were locked in some cupboard in his homeroom.

they should just abolish CME
cuz it serves NO PURPOSE.
it's not like as if pouring you with info about CME
will ensure that you won't be flinging yourself off a HDB flat.

2005-07-16T14:06:00.000+08:00

i want to live in my own bubble.
kick out all that i can't stand,
in a bubble where i can be with my besties, sweeties and my loved ones.
sadly,
this is just a dream.

i don't like my life now.
i want a change.
a radical change.
i really feel like telling people off.
but i just cannot.
only if im graduating tml.
whatthehell.

but aniwaes,
i founds lots of sweeties here.
so maybe life in teejay is bearable aft all.

den again,
maybe not,
since der are also a few disgusting freaks that i can't stand.
actually,
not that many.
maybe two?
okie whatever.

im not in a very good mood.
simply because i cannot express it out.
i have to suppress it.
what a life.
plus a screwed up oral,
what can be worse?

celebrated han and sha's birthday yest.
dese sweeties are finally 16!
nice celebration @ Big O.
steph and i finally got the tees done.
hard work gurl.
it was a nice lil evening. C=

looking forward to monday!!!
dey simply brighten up my life.

2005-07-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

sucky sucky results.
fortunately no high tea.
but aniways,
i cried.
stupid ms fu,
dun ever choose that song ever again.
it's because of you.
i really wanted to find someone to scream at,
i hoped that you were there.
but you weren't.

luckily ms fu and ms low were there for me.
sweeties,
none of us are feeling any better.
it's time we buck up.
we can make it.
remember our aim yea?!

2005-07-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

sit back
relax
enjoy the show.

tho i hope that it won't turn out to be too ugly a scene.
but well, life is full of surprises.
-sadistic me.

good night.

2005-07-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

On a lighter note,
20 reasons for why B should disappear is out.
List compiled by Ms Fus.
i thought that it was amazing.

lemme shorten it to the main points.
1 - Marty like set of teeth.
2 - ability to drown people's voice / ability to allow B's own voice to reign supreme among all.
3 - PRETTY face.
4 - whine about B's superb results, complaining about not achieving an A.
5 - being the BEST KISSER.
6 - Announcing the Juicy information about B and the CAT.
7 - Making it there THEME song, causing my phobia for that song. SEE, negative externality.
8 - Holding on to B's DARLINGS, as if they are going to sublimate the next second.
9 - Acting extremely LESBIAN like, PDA in class with one of the DARLINGS.
10 - Always swayed by people's words.
11 - TRIES to be humble, but it always backfires. if you want to drop it, drop it.
12 - Never fail to contradict oneself. you don't feel like an empty nutshell at one second and feel so busy the next. whatthehell.
13 - Changes watch like no one's business. Sadly, they seem to be like 10 for $3. super ugly.
14 - Thick and oily hair. Good hibernating area for fleas. Nice.
15 - Assumes that people STEAL your darlings, when in fact, the innate problem is you is the factor that chases people away from you.
16 - loves the CLASSY look, when in fact, it's just GIORDANO clothes. ohmygawd. i will never wear Giordano ever in my life. yucks.
17 - B's skirt is so long in front and so short behind. Since you know you got a HUGE butt, try to make it less obvious.
18 - B's bag never fails to make the skirt shorter. it naturally pulls it up.
19 - B loves to draw things in the air. Especially curves.
20 - The enthusiasm during class is HORRID.

Actually we have so much more to list. But i had to go out. Boo.

Ms Fu our list shall go on.

2005-07-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

I want to scream.
For what,
i have no idea.
Maybe it's my results,
maybe it's for what has been happening around me,
maybe it's for B's existence,
or maybe,
it's because you ain't here.

I'm dying of fatigue,
suppressed my feelings all these while.
All of my friends have been down,
and i know i can't afford to.

Everything is now crumbling down on me,
shitty results,
budget deficit,
and getting involved in something that i don't want to.
i so fuckingly don't like her,
and now i gotta deal with such shit.
like i care.
what goes around comes around,
i don't sympathise her.

I have so much to tell you,
i've got so much to whine about,
yet i just can't bring myself up to dial that freaking number.
I need a listening ear.

Ms Fu,
thanks so much for that. C=

2005-07-10T01:22:00.000+08:00

hahaha* MS FU YOU ARE CHILDISH! WHEE!

ohmygawd, im sooo tired after doin the pressies.

ms fu, check it out on mon. dun laugh at me. i suck at art remember?

but oh well, my mum demands such a pressie on her bdae.

and everything that is none of my business,
is becoming my business.
whatthehell.

2005-07-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

spent 14 bucks on the Nivea Anti Shadow Eye Cream.
way to go :
- XXL Maybelline Mascara
- Veet Wax Strips
- Clinique Pure Pops
- Shu Uemera Oil Cleansing Liquid
- Clinique Eye Shadow

so how much more do i need?
serious budget deficit.
i'm really really poor now.

and my mum's cuttin down my pocket money.
to 40 bucks next week.
confirm insufficient.
like im so dead.
wonder how am i goin to survive.
looks like i gotta borrow money to survive through next week.
WHATTHEHELL?!
I HATE IT!!!

then again i cant really blame her.
look at me.
i spent a total of almost 600 bucks this week.
my ATM is empty now.
i can't even draw a single cent.

feel so bad.
feel so guilty.
i'm goin to stop spending.
it's really time to.
i shall religiously go home for lunch immediately after school.
and i shall religiously have breakfast in school each day.
that's all i suppose.
no more shopping.
SIAN.

2005-07-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

you need time to overcome a difficulty,
yet time, sometimes, makes things more difficult.

so when exactly is the time?
how much time do we need?

is time the deciding factor?
does time heal all wounds?
or does time just deepen each wound that has yet to fully recover?

you know how to deal with it,
it's a matter of when.
no matter what we say,
the decision lies with you.

you'll always have my support. C=

2005-07-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

if you fuckingly have any issues with my blog entries,
1 - tell me.
wrong,
clarify i mean.
moreover,
you weren't even attached to her yet,
i practically have every right to criticise you.
it's equivalent to criticising a stranger.
unless you are so freakingly upright that you've nv criticised a stranger in your life.
then you prolly shd have been in heaven by now.

2 - do not be childish enough to be an anonymous person,
it doesn't help.
anyway, why do people like to be unidentified?

3 - you ain't Philip Yeo,
i ain't bonded,
blog is public,
but your name is not here,
so why fear?
unless you know it's you.
anyway, you can choose not to view it.
so,
WHATTHEFUCK?

i stand up for what i write in my blog,
if you think you have so many issues with it,
just
DON'T READ!

like what are blogs for?
it's a channel for people to bitch,
and for you to see who and what is being bitched about.
jealous?
go get one yourself and bitch about me.

Don'tEverCrossMyPath.

BACK OFF.

2005-07-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

today's supposedly a happy day,
since there's no school for my college.
But i'm stuck at home,
fuckingly pissed.

i've had enough of this,
anyway this ain't the first time,
so why get so pissed rite?
anyway this is one's habit,
it can't be changed.

fuck.
i'm pissed.
what an off day from school.

2005-07-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

went out with the bobos yesterday.
Han looked okie in her rebonded hair.
Steph is a total shopaholic.
scary.
sadly, i still spend the most.
and i wasted so much on unnecessary things.
- 1 pair of earrings - Hula & co. ( cuz my ear stud dropped. )
- 1 pair of slippers - Roxy ( cuz my heels hurt my feet. )
- 2 skirts - DP
- 1 hairclip - Hula & co.
Total = $171.90

WHATTHEHELL?!?!

very entertaining day!
Sha and i became Steph and Han's consultant.
i simply lurve the bobos to bits. C=

gonna wait for Sha to send me the pics.
n waitin for Shiseido to upload the pics we took today.

2005-07-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

OHMYGAWD.
today is amazingly fun.
one - we had crazy times @ kbox.
laughin over my futile attempt to sing that super low key song.
laughin over Shiseido's off key.
laughin over mvp taitai's loud voice over the mike and scaring the hell outa me.

SUPERSTAR!!!

the pics are nice.
other than repeating some of the embarrassin moments Shiseido had.
whee hee funfunfun.
FOO SAO!!! y cannot make it! boo.
must go out together asap okie?

2005-07-02T16:48:00.000+08:00

life is fragile.
i hate it.
i cried.
so im just as emotional as Shiseido.

rotting at home is nice.
ran 3.78km just now on that treadmill.
nice shower after that.
rottin in bed
typing my blog
catchin the most cliched kindred spirit.
but it's just nice lazin ard
with a nice lil cuppa coffee bean ice blended.
satisfied.

2005-07-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

war of the worlds - 2 out of 5 stars.
j8 cinema 1 seating - 0 out of 5 stars.
aftermath: butt hurts.
super funny outing with nancy.
now shiseido fu knows how i got through my art for sec 2.

COUNTDOWN TO
KBOX-ING
SHOPPING
MOVIE-ING
PHOTO TAKING
3 DAYS!!!
IM SOOOO EXCITED!

i realised how jealous i am: 65%
friends' importance in my life: 75%

i lurve u guys! C=

Shiseido, i realised dat u're pretty weird.
u didn't cry for a moment to remember.
but you cried for such sth none of your business.
WEIRD!
ROAR. haha*

Ms ee!
monday on?
monday changing to
kboxing
shopping
photo taking
movie-ing.
okie?!?!

It's just the wrong person offering the wrong dogbone.
i want to chew THAT dogbone!!! ( Okie Shiseido, shuddup. )
blamemyself.
IT'S OKIE.

2005-06-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

OH did i mention that my JCTs sucked?
chinese is tomorrow,
but with superb forsee-ing skills,
it's gonna suck too.

MATH is a CONFIRM F.
like my other classmates, i.e four of them seem less worried.
wohoo.
i'm dead.

gona have high tea with lim lai cheng for sure.
kill me man.

OH YA! ohmygawd, whizzy is such a sweetie.
got me this doraemon biscuit kinda thing.
so nice!
but i ain't gonna eat it.
shall upload the pic sometime.

whatishappeningnow
ainthelping.
imtired.
leavemealone.

tuesday is off for us.
courtesy of basketball championship.
SENTOSA.
SHOPPING.
K-BOXING.

2005-06-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
( i'd prefer to avoid conflicts, unless u are one irritating idiot. i've met a few, one e.g is the always-featured-in-my-blog-star. )

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
( well, i can be sure that the above description is the ideal guy. but the guy i fell for seems to be the exact opposite, at least for the 'smart' factor. )

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
( Shiseido, i think this explains my eventual decision. the quiz answered for me. )

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
( Sensible? Kid me. i'm straightforward, but i don't think it really can attract people. put it this way, wrong aura. whatever. )

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
( This is extremely appropriate for my case. education IS indeed important, i WANT to study hard, but it's just not within my reach. i want to learn, i just don't want to take exams and freaking JCTs. )

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
( See, my future in opening a cleaning company. HOW stable. my foot. )

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
( TRY? try what? sweeping the floor? i can't even hold a freaking broom. talk about cleaning. )

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
( VERY TRUE. that's y i'm glad that these peeps have been around for me. )

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
( At least my mum says that my mood swings faster than a pendulum swings. whatthehell. )

2005-06-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

screwed up my history paper today.
shall not talk about that.
shall talk about what happened BEFORE that.

Bugs barni is just SCARY.
it was all peaceful and quiet when i was studying with gh,
then whizzy came along.
STILL peaceful and quiet.
nice environment to study.
i mean B was sitting at B's own lil corner,
indulging in B's own love for history.
THEN,
TADA.
fugly shiat.
NON STOP TALKING SINCE THE MINUTE SHE ARRIVED AT OUR TABLE.
i SOOO WANTED TO SCOLD FUCK OFF.
but i didn't.
then i was indulging in my own thoughts.
what if i pull out her set of teeth immediately?
what if i just push her into the toilet bowl?
crazier ideas just kept popping by.
well, couldn't care so much about what she was talking about,
since barnies produce noise at exponential speeds.

SUDDENLY,
B said:
BALA 'MEI3 CI4 HEN3 JIAN4 DE4 LEH!!!'
YES.
a S paper student
calling dearest cute bala 'jian4'.
xtremely pissed,
and i came home to check the dictionary.
1 - it's her favourity word. tho i wonder if she understood the real meaning behind it.
2 - it's disgusting when someone who is jian calls someone else jian. i mean u live up to what you call others.

then i found another meaning to jian4 in the TIMES new advanced dictionary.
JIAN4- jiu4 cheng1 yu2 ta1 ren2 you3 guan1 de4 shi4 wu4.
( if translated into english, it would mean a form of describing sth related to you [ e.g surname, etc. ] )
APT description.
B shd use this word more often.

rottin with Shiseido yet another time @ bedok mac.
ohmygawd.
im soooooooo gonna post the pics online.
hahaha*
not her
not me
alil of me
and TWO other people.
stay tuned? ( cliche. )

then to watson's @ bedok.
maybeline watershine.
haha*
PINK LADY.
sooooooo niang.
DISGUSTING.

a real fact about gays.
they train.
so guys with good bod,
better check his sexual orientation.
well,
i'm generalising it,
in case guys with good bod,
with girlfriends
start screamin aft me.

increasing telepathic skills with shiseido.
we shall contd improvin eh ms fu!?
psychology / sociology here we come!
cliseido.
our biatchin nv ends.

i wanted to scream aft the history paper,
and i sooo wanted to scream at you.
but,
you weren't there.

2005-06-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

WOW.

my hist ppr is less than 24 hours today.
and i'm here.
see how hardworking i am.

i admit that chaoahlian is another hardwking fella.
because she doesn't know that bala's ppr is tml.
*applause*

studied with taitai, mvp taitai and ch.
not much info into my brain,
but got pretty much entertainment news that day.
there's sth in common btwn
julian hee
qi yuwu
and SADLY from-my-point-of-view-the-cutest-newsbroadcaster
TIMOTHY GO.
OHMYGAWD.
SOOOOOOOOOO depressing.
whatthehell.

chatted on the phone with hippo yest night till like 4+am?
yep.
GREAT chat.
haha*
it just makes me feel better.

was on the phone the last few days with mrs shiseido err... what's his surname? lu?
well, ms shiseido fu.
SUPER DUPER entertaining.
no one can ever break her record
a FORTY THREE SECOND laughter.
scary.
i mean,
i just gave the most sincere COMMENT.
crazygurl.
maybe ms fu is just too stressed.

initial D.
MUST MUST MUST WATCH.
1 - v.funny.
2 - edison is pretty cool.
3 - no cute guys in TJ. therefore, catch it before sch reopens.
4 - and most importantly,
JAY CHOU is AMAZINGLY CUTE.
OHMYGAWD.
i don't mind watching it again.

2005-06-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

my new name
clinique fu.

ohmygawd.

the next thing i know
people are gonna call me
CLINIC fu.
but,
NEVER MIND.

it's always easier to pronounce than
SHISEIDO fu.
hahaha*

nope,
rude to laugh at others' names.
HOR MS FU?

i beginning to wonder why bother studying so hard for JCTs,
i mean, y bother even putting in effort.
as kelly said,
do badly for JCTs,
do well for promos/prelims,
you get your good progress award.

so ms low,
u know what to do.

i miss my bunch,
miss ms wang,
miss ms lee,
miss the HJMs,
miss ms shiseido fu,
cuz they just remind me of POST JCT FUN.

somehow,
i kinda miss him too.

but definitely,
not my books.

2005-06-18T21:38:00.000+08:00

thanks to my cousin,
my internet is back.

haha*
the end of blessin in disguise.

no more slacking,
more surfing of e net.

***

met up with ms fu on friday b4 the PCK musical.
tried the new machine,
PERFECT.

but i realise tt my single/double eyelid is EXTREMELY prominant in one of the photos.
ms fu,
DO NOT upload that.
IF NOT...
hahaha*
i will get ms low to upload those lang bei photos too.
hahaha*
*meanie mean me*

PCK musical - on the whole,
relatively okie.
other than the not-very-good sound system,
not very nice songs,
i was pretty impressed by sheik hikel and tan keng hwa. ( im not very sure abt her name, but she's margaret in PCK )
i just hate PCK series for one simple reason,
the bad guy's surname is always
FOO.
idiotic.
ultimate insult.

then my dad drove past
the world's most entertaining area
GEYLANG lorong EIGHTEEN.
goodness.
the area with the most no. of terrace houses
with the largest and brightest numbering for the houses.
OHMYGAWD.
and a plate with the words "huan1 ying2 jing3 OPEN"
hung above the house no.
seems like every car slowed down while driving through that lane.
take a peek into the houses,
super skimpy clothed women.
SCARY.

then we passed singapore casket,
and i saw a coffin at the front door.
tell me it's a display piece.

finally got to our supper destination.
met mr tharman shamugaratnum.
my mother attempted to tell him that i was from CVSS
and i spoke to him before.
over my dead body.
luckily she was smart enough expect the consequences
if she were to say something in relation to CVSS,
i will just sublimate
there and then.

ENTERTAINING day.

2005-06-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

ms fu's turn is over.
now it's mine.

MY INTERNET DIED ON ME.
effectively, it was my dad who killed it,
so it didn't die a natural death after all.

i came all the way to bedok just to use the computer.
if only i was half as hardworking for the upcoming JCTs.

had breakfast with ms fu tt morning,
god knows which one juz i've slacked for a million days.
then went out with manda for an ice cream filled lunch @ swensens,
and yes,
got my puma bag.
59 bucks.
whiz kid found the exact same one @ queensway ( i went there too )
50 bucks.
i so should die.

mug
mug
mug.
ms low,
mr lee,
muggin time.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO.

OHMYGAWD.

life sucks.

ms wang,
how's muggin cumin along?

2005-06-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

why must i always be the one making sacrifices?

so much for doing my best for my bestie's birthday
and all i get in return, is not even making the effort to get my pressie.
in the end, it was the other two of the besties who got it.
and the other, getting me an individual pressie.
i'm not asking for much, just the effort to get my pressie or a card.

so much for bothering to accommodate to my bestie,
and all i get in return, is not even coming to a consensus on where to meet.
all i hoped was that my bestie could come down to meet me,
only to realise that i'm not even worth an hour bus ride.

so maybe she didn't really understand how i feel.
pretty sad, but nothing i can do.

is my bestie, my bestie after all?

2005-06-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

_DOWN.
- 1 DP top
- 1 M&S top
- 1 PS bracelet
- 1 IstanBlue bracelet
- 1 Madagarscar soundtrack
- 2 pairs of hidden socks
- our bunch's ring
- 1 pair of N sneakers

^{WAY TO GO.}
- 1 P sling bag
- 1 N sports bra (hopefully those conservative guys from XXJC wun see this. )
- 1 pair of jeans

aniwaes, i dun tink im gonna update as often since i haf a whole big pile of crap to clear for JCTs. of course, loads of shopping n a celebration. C= enjoyable yesterday ( 7 June ). quite alot of pics.

and we wore the rings! C=

2005-06-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

i've quite decided.
i'm going for hospitality.
which means,
overseas.

less than a year away.
i'm gonna take my A level results.
and i'll probably be leaving.

been thinking if i should stay here,
get into FASS or BizAd.
but why?

"yi qian nian yi hou" by JJ Lin is one freakingly irritating song.
because it makes one cry.

maybe one major reason why i can't bear to leave,
is just...
never mind.

2005-06-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

this was supposed to be for yesterday.
but god knows why,
another suay thing happened to me.
internet died on me the moment i finished the blog entry.
Fugly shiat.

courtesy of the 'evil eye' pendant ( what the turkish believe to be a LUCKY charm ), these are the LUCKY events that have occured today.

-pushed open Macs doors at Bedok.
expected a gush of cool air to sweep past.
instead, warm and stale air came.
first thing that dawned on me, "the aircon isn't working."
therefore, DEAD.

fortunately it turned out to be that they just switched on the aircon.

-settled down comfortably at a small corner of Macs.
took out my Production and Cost notes.
suddenly, one pregnant Macs worker beside me began to shower some blessings on my table.
instead of spraying water on the cloth, to wipe the table next to me,
she decided to spray the water on my table as well.
therefore, DEAD.

fortunately i had a piece of tissue with me to wipe my mouth, hand and table.
so, i split it into threes!!!
wow so i have a third to wipe the table!
whatever.

-ms fu came.
happily chatting till i decided to take the first sip of my medium Ice lemon tea.
i held the mouth of that cup of ice lemon tea,
and i realised that within that split second,
what was left in my right hand,
was ONLY the cover.
suddenly, my table started raining.
my skirt and bag were both blessed by the rain.
and the whole of Macs ( or at least my section ) was giving me the disgusted and disapproving look.
therefore, DEAD again!

fortunately, ms Fu informed one of the peeps. Macs was kind enough to spare me another medium ice lemon tea and clean up the whole mess for me. and the washroom was decent enough for me to clean up.

-reached econs lecture hall safely.
opened up my bag.
third round of blessings.
what was blessed? my discman, notebook and pencil case.
blessed by? the water in my water bottle. because i didn't cap it properly.
so i decided to share my blessings with june and leen.
but it seems like june didn't get much of it.
therefore, DEAD once again!

fortunately, my discman didn't die on me. i used ballpoint ink, so it didn't smudge.

-end of the two hour miserable econs lecture.
and the nice lecturer announced that BOP and foreign exchange are not included in JCT.
which means, i spent two hours learning ( in fact, i wasn't even listening ) something that i'm not even going to bother for the next three weeks.
therefore, DEAD again!!!

fortunately, i got to receive this 'good' news and share the joy with everyone. ( realise that i'm coming up with this reason to make myself happier. )

-thompson's lecture.
he couldn't print the templates.
so he went tru stuff that were in that freaking totalitarian dictatorship booklet.
which i left at home.
therefore, im so DEAD!!!

fortunately, ostracised brought and not much of a use actually.

-headed down town for my dental appointment.
dearest taxi driver went the longest way i've ever seen.
and it cost me $10.50.
the most expensive tri down from bedok to town.
therefore, im broke, meaning DEAD again. ( i don't bother to even exclaim anymore. )

fortunately, i still have some cash.

-was 15 minutes early for my appointment.
but i decided to go there immediately so i can get the key to the washroom. ( yes, their toilets are really private. )
then i realised that i have to stone along the corridor because the door cannot be opened.
after stoning for 10 minutes, one kind soul asked me if i am Miss Fu.
with the slightest amount of energy, she turned the knob and pushed open that freaking door.
so, it wasn't locked.
being REALLY urgent, i got the key, and dashed to the toilet.
sadly, i met my dentist along the corridor.
so he started saying hi.
therefore, my need for the toilet had to be compromised.
so DEAD.

fortunately, i managed to put across the fact that i really need to toilet, so i practically sprint my way to the toilet. i think i've never ran that fast in my life.

-wanted to go get my new bag and sneakers,
but i realised that almost no one was available to go shopping with me.
beyond DEAD.

so, i decided to go get lunch from ljs. thinking that i can eat at ease in the comfort of pig sty.

-so i took a cab.
god knows why,
freaking cabbie kept burping and making some weird sound as if he has unlimited supply of phelm.
and i was eating my fries during this disguting period of time.
i've never been SO DEAD in my life.

so, i've decided to come up with something. counter attack. i gave the loudest artificial burp i've ever done in my life. C= gross, but i just love it. cuz i managed to shut the bloody driver's non stop burping. *sense of satisfaction*

-reached my doorstep.
stuck my hand into my bag,
in search of my house keys.
shit.
i left it at home.
called my aunt's house for my maid.
user busy.
i so wana DIE.
so i ate my lunch while leaning on the wall and admiring the beautiful environment.
when suddenly,
the engine of some humongous vehicle approached my block.
yes, and the aroma was perfect.
the fugging rubbish truck.

without hesitation, i stuffed the last bite into my mouth. 10 minutes later my maid came to my rescue.

my longest entry ever.
my suay-est day ever.

2005-05-29T17:51:00.000+08:00

MY GRANDUNCLE RECOVERED!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

SOOOOO HAPPY!!!

2005-05-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

Ms Fu is finally back alive.
ohmygawd, and she's extremely hyper after she recovered.
see the power of bird nest?
speedy recovery.
haha*

dug out all that i need to study for JCT.
for all my subjects.
and only stuff that are tested FOR JCT.
guess the height of the pile?
10cm?
20cm?
nopes.
it reigns supreme among all my other papers and dictionaries.
it's 43cm.
I'M SOOOOOOOOO DEAD.

drums.
drumming.
drummers.
hahaha*

2005-05-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

wenyu attracted by the orang utan.
but she thinks that he's alil kiddy.

so i only like guys with small eyes. yep.
i never thought that this guy was cool.
only for that moment hours ago.
well, at least this guy was cool for once.
i mean, okie la, quite cool what. haha*

drums are just amazing.
they attract attention.
haha*

i'm now a KBOX member.
yep.
so cheena ah lian.
haha*
i'm a cheena chao ah lian wOrS~~
yeEeWww mUsHh bEee vErrIiii EnViOuSshh OrFff mmmiEeee hOrX~?
whatever.

went to k box from 2-7.15pm.
hippo, wendy and i sang our hearts out.
happy happy!

extremely conservative guys' characteristics :
-they are miles away from you, and they'd turn around and look at you when you just said 'sports bra' in a normal conversation.
+ either they are extremely amused
+ or too shocked that a girl said this ( i.e i'm not supposed to say such things in PUBLIC? )

crazy guys.
and they really come from a conservative junior college.
i shall not tarnish the reputation of that jc.
but maybe because they are from this PARTICULAR stream.
and F math guys from this jc are stupid MCPs. STUPID!
what makes you think that you're smarter than me?
just because you own a calculator that can play 'bubble' and 'finance'?
i can play F math calculators too.
BOO.
I HATE HIM. IDIOT.
but i still dunno his name.

my junior in debate taking F math is a MILLION times better than you.
and to think that you are one year older than him.
WHAT A SHAME.
kiddo.
BLEAH.

goodnight.

2005-05-25T20:31:00.000+08:00

one juicy ( yet gory ) thought.

i feel like squashing B and plucking out B's nice set of teeth. it would make a nice monument in the history meuseum isn't it?

disregarding that. i think i'm missing school now. somehow, miss the peeps ( ms ee, ms low ), the often-being-molested, erm, i shall juz let her remain as ms often-being-molested, and of course, MS FU!!!

B spot on poor ms.often-being-molested weakness - her conscience. well, it's not really her conscience that played the major role, that led her to being molested once again. i think it's about what B said. Anyway, it's very wrong for B to say that. In fact, she B just FACE IT. no one wants to sit with B. well, all B can do to make one stay beside B is to mention "if YOU have the HEART you will sit with us". ohmygawd. spine tingling and CLICHE. yikes. OoOoOoH!!! B for biatch!!! okie. hahaha* sudden realisation and digression. sorry.

i was just thinking. what if one day the cat leaves B? will B say "if you have the heart, you will stay beside me? and with me? the promise yada yada yada." den you'll see some mellow drama happening at some park or void deck. okie okie, enough of B.

hmm two tests on friday. dead.

mj won vj in soccer. haha* tj won vj in basketball... hmmm... hahahaha* YEA!!! okie, shall not irk wendy further. hahaha*

tee-tee-tee-tee-jayyy. hahah*

bye.

2005-05-25T15:48:00.000+08:00

ohmygawd.
fever.
flu.
sore throat.
and I LOST MY VOICE.
fugly shiat.

managed to talk to ms fu somehow. ( fortunately. If not i'm so gonna die of boredom. )

i realised that the last thing that should ever happen to me is to lose my voice. 1 - the people around me will have a super hard time deciphering what i'm trying to say. 2 - i have loads to say but i just cannot put across it to the peeps. ( restriction of freedom of speech. ) 3 - i cannot BITCH!!!

okie, enough of complaning.

and the kind lil doc decided to give me 2 days mc.

haha* whiz kid just told me i top in some chinese practice. im so gonna laugh to death!!! ME? CHINESE? TOP??? i'm so sorry but i really cannot see the link. it's like the joke of the century.

one entertaining snippet of my life.

pri 1 boy : wa another big sized girl ar!
me : do you believe i can squash you?
pri 1 boy : *GASP* MUMMY! ( runs off. )
me : *huh? err.. O-K-I-E... strange kid...*

2005-05-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

i'm so not going for the next class gathering, if there is.
so gla that i didn't go to seoul garden with them.
the guys were just living in their world of naruto and stupid arcade games.
so fuggingly boring.

and star wars suck to the core.
the only cute thing there was yoda.
and yoda only.

i spent $33.60 just to meet 4 guys and a girl from my sec school class.
just to see how much they've changed.
and to waste my time watching a stupid movie like star wars.
to almost see how one of them was scked from carrefour.
to see one guy's leg injured.
and to see the effect of one guy's hair being dyed.
to know the reason why the girl hates cyndi so much.
and waste my time not studying for my tests on wednesday.
i'm so pissed.

2005-05-22T23:08:00.000+08:00

haha* i realise that there are indeed many many many others out there.

much MUCH better ones.

and i think i manage to spot one.

none other than...

^THAT smart one.

haha*

okie i'm not making sense.

but that one is just for display.

some just exude the aura of _{fear and horror},

so much so that i feel like sublimating.

shivers.

time to sleep.

and dream

of...

good night peeps. C=

2005-05-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

ohmygawd. what is happening to ms fu?
eh you sound scary missy.
you okie?
don't end up being overly rhethoric and pessimstic... it sounds alil like................................ B. YES. serious. hahaha* okie okie, shall stop scaring you.
if not okie must say okie?

***

may it be one day, two days or three days left.
enough is enough.
enough of waiting.
i'm gonna give that call or message a miss. if only there is, of course.
good bye.

2005-05-22T19:22:00.000+08:00

it's the end of sunday and i'm left with tomorrow.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Ohmygawd. i just hope that he doesn't read this entry. if he does, i think i would be the perfect example to illustrate 'wu di zi rong'.

OH OH OH!!! hahaha* i just realised something!!! haha* how apt.

oh YES. ms fu's sis is ATTACHED!!! see see as i expected, typical sticky caps + chim language. maybe i should just be the next fortunte teller.

2005-05-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

this world is ULTIMATELY small.

after much surfing through friendster, and checking out on my sec sch classmates.

i realised that ocs' girlfriend is libby's friend.

ohmygawd. is my social circle THAT small.

and i'm really tired now.

but i still have history to do.

2005-05-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

so dearest ms fu SCANNED the pics of BOTH chinese paper and straits times. GOODNESS. haha* this shows her degree of FERVENT support for basketball. then again, i don't blame her. it's extremely pleasing to the eye. C= finally, 20 years later.

this match has indeed bonded the TJCians. C=

***

i really gotta say that 'tong hua' is a scary song. it just reminds me of many many images that i picture in my mind. images of two peeps in bed, suddenly one gets pushed off somehow ( god knows why ) and the others starts crying like a tap, then the other gotta climb back to bed to "off the tap". goodness, horror movie.

note: this is a v.subtle entry.

***

MS FU!!! it's ALREADY SUNDAY. ( to be precise. ) omg, i'm so going to flare up so soon.

2005-05-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

forgot to mention that i broke the record for the gym. haha* at least the record that glenda knows. is this machine to train ur calf muscles, as for me, to burn fat. well, i actually lifted 350 lbs. ( btw glenda, it's pounds. haha* ) yes and the max is 390 lbs. so WOW?!

most importantly, TJC WON THE BASKETBALL FINALS!!! omg. i think i've never been so hyper for any match. so i screamed at the top of my lungs, and my voice has MUTATED. and perspired like hell. oh yes yes yes, i FINALLY understood why soooooo many people are crazy over erm, a classmate of mine. indeed, pretty cool. and i can understand why SOMEONE is SOOOOO mad about him. well well. that's my classmate for you. so they won the match... imagine the CROWD that we are gonna see around our class during econs lecture...

snap back to reality.

thanks basketball!!! not only winning the championship that tjc got 20 years ago.
you guys got us the HALF DAY!!! ( which starts at 12.45pm. not much of an effect to me though. )

congrats chun hsien and rui teck. you guys rock man. C=

2005-05-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

POST POST BIRTHDAY UPDATE.

celebrated with mrs chew, and the bobos [ except shihan =( ]. had lunch at Bakerzinn, mrs chew's treat. the bobos' got me rip curl wallet. super nice! C= simply cuz it's chosen by me. haha*

mrs chew got me a ostentatious gift? nono. not ostentatious wrong word. anyways, yup $50 M&S voucher. purrfect. C=

met up with ms fu immed aft the peeps left. oh man, poor gurl. cheer up yea?! yes and we really had a great tym. apparently, trying to force the truth outa each other. haha* and i didn't cross my fingers, though i know you crossed your toes. MS FU!!! I SHOULD HAVE CROSSED MY FINGERS. SERIOUS. i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo PISSED NOW. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. HE DIDN'T TALK TO ME. FINE. THIS IS THE END OF IT. HAD ENOUGH. ( okie, i know it doesn't sound convincing. ) btw, YOU TOO.

but this didn't reduce my expenditure. in fact, i'm suffering from hyper-deficit now.
what i spent within 10 hours?

-$1.95 - iced tea @ mos
-$20 - mrs chew's bday pressie
-$11 - magazines
-$5.60 - venezia ice cream
-$9.30 - brownie factory
-$30.70 - kinokuniya
-$36.40 - Godiva chocolatier
-$29 - NYDC dinner
-$2 - neoprint
-$2 - cactus and pine
-$5.95 - Jocie's CD ( lao shu ai da mi!!! C= )

okie, am i high maintenance or what?
i so super don't mind being a spinster. but i really gotta be RICH.

where to get the MONEY!!! ugh.

okie i'm a biatch.
i'm a spinster to be.
i'm BANKRUPT.

and great spore sale is TOMORROW. CRAP!!!!

super budget deficit. DEAD.

2005-05-18T21:47:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart

erm, it's ALITTLE funny. why will i treat marriage as a sacred thing, when i've never thought of getting married... hmm... not accurate not accurate.

2005-05-18T21:27:00.000+08:00

pretty okie day, other than screwing up the history test, as always.

oh basketball finals, 2 days to go. wohoo. scary. nevermind, chun hsien, u c this just ignore. haha* well, i can imagine the amount of girls the basketball guys can attract after that semi finals match. but erm, except Butcher?!

vanishing? appearing?
i agree that you still take up part of my life.
as significant?
i doubt so.

somehow, i think someone else is becoming increasingly significant.
haha*
can't be. can't be.
i must be blabbering.
boo.

2005-05-17T18:26:00.000+08:00

finally know how to use photobucket. haha* yes, after surfing the net, i realised that D can just be B afterall. ms fu, u noe... haha*

2005-05-17T17:05:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be a SUPER DUPER LONG entry.

okie, i haf thompson's hist test, econs, blah blah blah, right bside my laptop NOW.
but i just need to blog, need to "take off the layers of masks...". YES. it's all about D. i've been pronuncing fuck as fug since 18. but today, i just need to scold FUCK. i'm just way too pissed.

unlucky as i am, i only had one choice this morning during banded GP, that is to sit RIGHT BESIDE D. hopefully glenda or pamie can get me a sit beside them the next time. great. i do not only live in isolation for the 50 mins, i have to tolerate D's NON STOP FIDGITING and BIO-ing of my introduction paragraph. but well, all ended well with me walking way infront of D and glenda.

OH WAIT. forgot something. asked me a STUPID question while walking to hist. like if i've done bala's hist. OBVIOUSLY i haven't. oh well, maybe D thought that i'd be just as hardworking as her. i don't blame D for that.

then it was fine and well till ECONS.

OH WAIT. forgot something AGAIN. i think D suffers from super thin skin. so much so that D feels cold every single second of D's life. just for D's own comfort, everyone ( or at least me and june ) have to survive through the lessons in the enclosed room of this tropical country. and the only person she's probably concerned in school is D's dearest friend, who apparently D constantly molests ( maybe to D's friend - a form of affection. )

oh yes, back to the econs matter. well, ONCE AGAIN, D popped the question about Bala's history. and COOL enough, she probably wants me to be the unpaid secretary of the day. D wanted to pass me stuff to type for bala's template. REASON? "i'll only get home by 7 or 8pm!" in the tone of like you-know-im-a-busy-person. MIND YOU. it's ONLY 7 or 8pm. this does not make me YOUR UNPAID SECRETARY. your reason just doesn't stand. fuck. pissed as i am, my reply was merely "OH.. OKAY!!!" in the tone of so-what-if-u-r-busy-im-busy-too, and-even-if-im-not-busy-i-won't-be--your-unpaid-secretary tone. apparently, it sounded relatively hostile. oh sadly, i just wanted to reply in the way you gave your reason. well, there's such a thing as MULTIPLIER effect. hence, my attitude.

HOWEVER, do not think that i'm guilty or remorseful. because, im cynical by nature. and i'm EXTREMELY HAPPY after that reply. like FINALLY i manage to vent my SUPPRESSED ANGER. but well, i still think it's FAIRLY MILD.

come to think of it,
it's pretty okie after all.
it's 1 year and going-to-be 6 months down.
ENOUGH of your face,
enough of your butt,
enough of your teeth,
enough of your fidgiting,
enough of your gesturing,
enough of your EVERYTHING.

5 months to go.
and OFF YOU GO.

i love the chinese saying. but i'm gonna change it a little. "ni zou ni de du mu qiao, wo zou wo de yang guang dao'.

GET LOST.

2005-05-15T17:15:00.000+08:00

+Akon's MTV rocks a million times more than international trade. ( i know there is NO LINK. )
+D's entries are increasingly gross, trying to be philosophical ( sadly, the philosophical "effect" just isn't great enough to cover up the glaring "chilly" effect. ) as usual it sends "chills down my spine." ( cliche as it is. ) the entries are seriously REVEALING. highly recommended webbie. i give it 5 stars.
+yahoo. i lost my protectionism notes. must be among some pile of papers in my room.

more than enough entries today.
back to muggin'.
simply cuz mama's back.
boo.

Institute of Mental Health area is now renamed as "BUANGKOK MEDICAL PARK".
why are they trying so hard to make things sound nicer?
the Blk 9 Mortuary at SGH is now some FORENSIC SCIENCE thingy.

somethings are already stereotyped. no point changing the names. as glenda says "facade".

2005-05-15T16:47:00.000+08:00

the thing about CHEENA ah lians.

-cheena ah lians use amazing sticky caps that gives me ultimate headaches while reading. and i take at least half an hour to decipher a small paragraph.

-after much observation, it's always the vowels that are in caps. ( i.e wOr, nOrs, etc? )

-they are superb pink fans. imagine them carrying pink pom poms during a cheerleading competition or sth.

-those in relationships usually come up with entertaining names for themselves ( e.g tOopiDbOy and tOoPidgEr, or like TaI yAnG wAnG zI and yUe LiAnG gOnG ZhU. )

-as usual, their beautiful stories or fairytales starting from a certain date.

-they just NEVER admit they are CHEENA ah lians, amazingly.

controversial as they always are. been wanting to type this for a million years. maybe i should just surf through friendster less often.

this is probably why the word "CHEENA", always has this negative connotation attached to it.

and mark lim is a cheena chaoahbeng with static hairstyle.

2005-05-15T16:32:00.000+08:00

jo is amazing.
she can come up with the most abstract nicknames.
probably one that no one can ever think of.

i found two people,
with same names,
and same personalities.
they are hydrocarbons.
how appt.

haha*

jo, thanks fer your super duper retro gift. haha* and my mum thought that it was cool. good taste!

2005-05-14T01:43:00.000+08:00

asalamalikom.

caught amityville with ms fu, eileen and glenda. and yes, i used my file to cover most of the screen. haha* gruesome. but pretty nice. ironically, everyone started laughing after the ending. i think it's just a suppressed feeling of laughing at one's own guts.

not forgetting that ass who was kicking my seat. stupid shiat.

n glenda is one funny gurl. v.fun to hang out with. haha* plus eileen's crankiness + whiz kiddiness... haha* great pals.

***

wanted to call you just now. just didn't dare to. neither did i wana msg. just my pride. glad tt my friend called instead. well, you r still helpful. in some way. C=

i'm back into that vicious cycle.

2005-05-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

poor ms fu is ill. rest well and take care okie gurl?!
maybe you really need more bird nest. haha*

school's been pretty nice. except for the pile of assignments, looming due dates and not forgetting, the stupid tests and upcoming JCT. BOO.

POST BIRTHDAY UPDATE.

-haach's CEO and ronald susilo apparently graced my birthday celebrations. yes, one on friday and one on saturday. so ya, they happened to be there. susilo looks gay. gosh.
-ms fu got a CUTIE PIE pillow and err MONEY??? haha* innovative idea... thnks gurl!
-nancy shocked me by of course, getting me the projectshopBLOODbros bag.
-the bunch got me super cute forever friends cups. erm, it's like a PAIR??? gosh. one blue and one pink. how significant. haha*
-u guys out there who dropped sms and testimonials. u guys are so sweet! C=
-and you. thanks for being one of the first and the last to wish me happy birthday. thanks for completing my birthday. although i shouldn't be so happy. whatever. C=

latest fever : asalamalikom.

i'm back to the happy me. C=
shall maintain status quo.

2005-05-08T04:26:00.000+08:00

Be it a reminder from the bunch just now,
be it an sms sent by someone to remind you,
be it a reminder in your handphone,

thanks for wishing me happy birthday.

at least i get to be happy for awhile.

2005-05-08T01:07:00.000+08:00

if not for the bunch's celebration and wishes,
if not for leen happy bday song and chat,
if not for wenyuan, yuansen, rassie, manda's wishes,
i may still be super sad.

think about it, i'm pretty fortunate after all.

really touched by the bunch. poor hippo had to do the super pretty wrapper design. the cute lil forever friends cups. nancy for the bag that i've wished for a super duper long time! and u got the right one!!! U GUYS RAWK!!!

leen!!! thanks sooo soo sooo much fer callin me at 12mn to sing me the pretty pretty happy bday song!!! haha* really brightened up my day!

kelly has apparently msged me how i felt. maybe, we really should get over it.

2005-05-08T00:50:00.000+08:00

so you didn't wish me after all.

rather, you didn't remember this day at all.

you only know the existence of mothers' day.

maybe, you shouldn't have called me.

probably making up part of the reason why i cried when the clock struck 12.

why?

2005-05-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

somehow, you are still a fragment of my memory.

it's tomorrow. will you call?

will you message?

i doubt it. though i kinda hope so.

2005-05-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

WHEE!!!
today is so SUPER DUPER FUN!!! haha* out with ms FU today. caught KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. aa, i wouldn't recommend that movie. you really need ALOT of analysis. ( esp when u r brain dead. don't try. ) so done some shopping at style elements, hula and co.

MS FU!!! THANKS SOOOOO MUCH FER YOUR PRESSIE. interesting pressie. money + pillow. so cute! and ya, MONEY?! hope u lyk ur pressie too yea?!

okie, so we laughed at the stupidest things today. and we really have the stupidest expressions while taking fotos. ms fu has this 'classic' one. shall upload and ENLARGE once she scans it. haha*

SO HAPPY today. really enjoyed a hell lot. THANKS ALOT GURL!!! u rawk gurl!!!

tml: out with the bunch. C= whee! another round of celebration.
sun: time for LAWRY'S!!!

opps. better get mothers' day pressie. and yes, i left my tutorlal in school. gosh.

2005-05-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

love = trade cycle.

decipher this yourself.

***

shalala* shall not go to maggie's stupid lecture tml. it just spurs me to sleep more.

***

wow.. nv knew 933fm has such apt topics of discussion. but, the intro of this dumb prog just scares ppl off. really dumb person who created this.

2005-05-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

another 2 people attached.

a really nice and cool guy with a ........ ( shall not comment. ) BUT really a negative pair. wasted.

a sec sch friend with a VJC guy. hmm his 5th. wow. looks? no idea.

the cool guy's girlfriend is really really desperate. YIKES. what a WANNABE. whatever.

2005-05-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

after so long, not believing that friendster will eat up my testimonials, they have decided to gobble them down. there goes my testimonials! wohoo.

and weirdly, by the demand of erm, TWO people, i've decided to update my blog.

actually nothing much recently. or just too many things that have happened. not on me tho. on the other ms fu. just realised that i can be blatantly straightforward. hmm, it's just me.

he's ill. didn't know how to react. no. it should be i didn't want to react i suppose. maybe it's time for me to do some soul searching. gotta find that human touch.

getting touch for women. but it's like introduced in the stupid URBAN - the suggested scent for pregnant women. like EWW.

in my new testimonial from chaoahlian - "..your class relations so complicated." lets see. if you simply remove D, who is a control freak. you will see a clearer and less polluted class. with the fun of tai tai, june, eeee, kettle, anti-no-sausage, ostracised, irritatin jane, drama mama jieying it seems much better now. oh oppps. not forgetting the other MS FU. haha* see how unimportant u r la, slipped out of my mind la. haha* so D, why not disappear? amazingly, i popped the question that day. erm, mind you, not asking her to be my gf. ( CHOI. not even if im les. clarfication: i'm not. and i'm not living in denial. *shivers* ) haha* i so lurve myself. actually asking if she wants to collect the notes this time. don't you think it rawks? it really brings out the meaning of "meaningful small gestures". C= *sense of satisfaction*

things to do by next friday:
-cut my fringe ( not the CHINA DOLL hairstyle, of course. )
-BALA's essay. eek.
-ms fu's pressie.
-mama's pressie.

hey hey, guess what? i popped into burberry today. wow, in M&S tee, DP jeans and my v.v.v.cheapo nike sport shoes, which really looked like those pasar malam ones. so, as usual no one served me. BUT my dad made a great impact. came in 5 mins after i popped in and went "SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE?" wohoo! u see this silohuette popping beside u within a sec and goes, "MISS CAN I HELP YOU?" simply because my dad was wearing the humble ralph lauren polo tee that yours sincerely bought. DAMN THE GIRL. UGH!!! well, i really saw sth i like. BUT, the pasar malam ones REALLY look alike. and i can get it at 10 bucks. so nvm, never tot of getting something identical at 40 times the pasar malam price.

are you still you?

2005-04-23T18:58:00.000+08:00

always wanted to drop you a message. somehow i received a call from you instead.
i never wanted to react that way. i was just hoping to chat and check out how's life over there.
maybe i just cannot be oblivious to what is happening around me.
maybe you just changed along the way. so much so that you are no longer you.
maybe time just changed all of us.

it's sad that you're known to be scary.
i always hoped that it wasn't you.
but i just cannot ignore the fact that it's just you.

will you wish me happy birthday?
don't really think so.

2005-04-23T18:40:00.000+08:00

harassed on tuesday.

yet, accused for harassing four guys from ST.GABRIELS.

throwing messages like "i like you... see you tomorrow..." while these asses were cycling.

accused for being ANGIE.

came in my house and looked for ANGIE.

ended up ransacking through my papers.

wanted to check my handwriting.

my dad flared up.

called the police.

being supposedly effective, they reached only 40 mins after we called.

wohoo. like i'm a pedophile.

THEY SUCK.

and my reputation is so fuggingly ruined.

and i went TM that day.

2005-04-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

and SHUMIN!!! i just received letter!!! hehe*

general comment:
maybe it is the innate problem of a class. with all the cliques around, it is just difficult for one to break free from a clique where him/her is not happy in. simply because it would be difficult for him/her to join another clique. rather, it would be tough for one to be wandering around the class with no one to be with. this is probably why people hit the limit of their tolerance level, but are unable to break free.

realised that jcs have made many of us much more independent. it is at this point, where we become oblivious to what is happening around us. it takes time to be numb. and some of my friends, can actually survive through their breaks without being with anyone. i admire these guys.

ms fu tnks so much for being there! C=

sudden surge of emotions. this sounds so drama. nvm. good to be drama at times.

if only we can turn back time
if only i can return to those happy moments
if only i haven't step into jc.

i may not be who i am today.

2005-04-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

i am DISTURBED by some person in my class.

i am of course, already disturbed by one apparent one. now another one. gosh. so lets name the former as P and D for the latter.

D confided in P. Sadly, P doesn't have a very good impression of D. and continues confiding when P thinks otherwise of what D says. Hmm NICE facade. My inference - P doesn't like D. Then from another source, it is said that P does not not like D. WOW. amaze amaze. then what is hate? oh yes, hate is when you don't even bother talking to another person. yes that's hate. opps, but i didn't say that i hate anyone. do not get it wrong. when i disregard one's existence, it is just being IGNORANT.

and i use Stalin as an analogy of D. D suffers from the same paranoia as Stalin. and like how Stalin went around killing his opponents. ( opponents in this case, are people who just dislike D. ) just because he thinks that they are trying to overthrow him. ( which does not apply in this case. ) face it, Stalin had a screwed up attitude, and that is what D has. and seriously, this is why people move away from D. isn't it obvious? like go reflect before you start accusing people. because YOU AIN'T THAT GREAT. sorri. YOU SUCK.

i just wonder why can't some people just tell people straight off the face. like face it. you need to face it sooner or later. whatever. weird.

went out with hippo and wendy yesterday. poor hippo down with flu and sore throat. get well soon yea. so sad so no kbox. leen went for kbox instead. boo. jealous jealous. ( erm not who you are with of course. haha* ) haven been there for a long long time. hippo the friday before labour day yea!!! whee!!! time to k box! looking forward. C= oh, forgot to mention. bus broke down on the way to heartland mall with hippo. and another case of boss scolding subordinate.

scary incident. lee sheng jie is sooooo ugly. haha* and that discussion was held along the heartland mall stretch. nice voice, bad face. tsk tsk. plastic surgery will help. or maybe a blurred vision will help too. hahaha* meanie mean me.

out with kelly and nancy today. caught pacifier. sure to have a good laugh. C= i give it 4 out of 5 bites! had great fun today from like wisma to cine to taka. coffee club dinner! we bought similar pouches and similar hp accesory with nancy. what else? hairband, stationary... and yes, alot of CRAPPING and funny incidents. so glad to be out again. C= cant wait for the next outing!!! kelly n nancy, you guys have some ugly poses in my phone. shall threaten you all with that. haha* blackmail!

and yes, KELLY PEH, listen up. MOTHERS' DAY!!! after spelling out EXPLICITLY to them that my birthday is on mothers' day and both avoided it like nobody's business. sob!!! i don't care. TAKE NOTE OF WISHLIST. actually a projectshopBLOODbros bag will suffice. hahaha*

simply lurve the bunch. C= and yes, not forgetting MS FU! ( not myself la... i'm not so zi lian. )

you? maybe not.

2005-04-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

only to realise that you're not forgotten.

when will you ever be forgotten?

2005-04-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

cvss lost the quarter finals. don't really have much to say. v.v.v.depressed. pioneer's sucky standard just makes it amazing for them to get into quarters. and they WON the quarters. simply because cv's is worse. 1st, no rebuttals. 2nd, despite looking confident, came up with rebuttals that ran made it seem like a parallel case. 3rd, Geneva conventions disappeared from her. didn't finish her rebuttals. FUG. yes, i cried. so much for the effort.

the mentality of one can simply be seen through a tag. a simple tag explains it all. rather, a simple nickname explains it all. at least i've seen ppl daring enough, rather NORMAL enough to put their name, i.e derrick. not like some asshole, who is so useless and needs a word from the dictionary to express his dissatisfaction through his nickname. this probably explains why he can only tag a one liner, and use a simple word bitch. apparently, if i need a matching word that would be BASTARD. but, i don't think this suits him. because he is way beyond one i suppose. sad sad.

celebrated stef's bdae yest. bought her a miserable birthday cake. had dinner at crystal jade and we were like the LAST to leave. this probably explains why all the waiters and waitresses were crowding around us. fun fun time. C=

that's it.

2005-04-06T16:21:00.000+08:00

entertaining piece of news. following the interesting post, where i was called NAIVE girl ( of course, i hope that no negative connatation exists. )

"ooh good. the girls in my chinese class have discovered my blog... haha i've discovered that before those tags that i've conveniently deleted." - seriously, why bother to delete one's tag when u've done NOTHING WRONG, which of course, is only from YOUR point of view. like, i don't bother to delete the tag of that smart ass ( anonymous ) who tagged my board, regardless of how daft he is. i do not discriminate people, ha.

it just makes one ponder upon a guy's guts. like how this stupid ass in my sec sch, who threatened to throw away my DNT folio. oh yes, saying that he is not afraid of me and throwing a pen at this chao ah beng are seriously wrong moves. at least, he is smart enough to let me know that he really don't have enough guts.

so much for GUYS. and yes, this ass who can never ever understand the million causal leaps he made throughout the debate.

3 interesting guys for you.

2005-04-04T19:32:00.000+08:00

oh yes. how interesting. someone called me a "naive girl". yes, there are negative connatations to it ( in this sense ).

some ass is tagging my board. i just hope that you are not the guy with a mouth the size that of mr B's waist of course. if not, i would really feel sorry for you. maybe there is this inverse relationship between the size of your mouth and the size of your brain.

of course, i hope that you are not the one. then again, just to quench the thirst of your inquisitive puny brain, i must let you know that whatever is in my blog is for the eyes of the reader, and not the ears of others who didn't read my blog. if only the puny brain of yours can decipher what i'm trying to say.

i understand that there are some people reading my blog. so i better be careful of what i say. and yes, mr ____ the big thing that leen and i were talking about is the wedding of the century. you know the bird nest feast. erm yup. well, i welcome your tag too. i don't discriminate you just because you call me les. hahaha*

okie, debate is going on and on. i'm sooooo tired.

2005-04-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

THEY MADE IT. C= MADE IT INTO QUARTERS.

i just didn't know how to react. i couldn't smile. i couldn't cry. it was simply a sense of satisfaction. the time i spent with them did not go to waste. C=

really proud of them. really glad that i didn't give up.

like what ed said, i should be realistic. but, it's difficult, simply because the amount of effort you put in, isn't reflected in the results. of course, one won't be able to understand unless he/she is in one's shoes.

especially after pre-empting a WHOLE debate, and SOMEONE screws the whole thing up. it's worse when he/she comes up to ask you what did he/she do wrong. unless you're really daft, you should have realised that you were the one who screwed up the whole debate. so much for going through the rebuttals with someone like you. maybe there isn't much substance up there. maybe you should go concentrate on promoting the kidney dialysis thing. maybe, what you need is not kidney dialysis, but dialysis for the brain or sth. there could have been a beautiful win. sadly, this someone just cannot contextualise stuff.

rapper, don't think that you rock, because you were merely conveying my message to the adjudicators. it's all YOUR FAULT. BOO.

lots happened recently. not very bothered about it tho. but i'm happy. C=

bought a few more tops today. happy happy. C=

more trg next week. okie. i gotta cheer up.

2005-03-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

oh did i say that i'm gonna find an abalone king?

a perfect wedding dinner for leen, wennie and erm myself?

haha* crapping again. nvm.

tho i'm seriously lookin forward to ms fu's.. 1st - 10th dish all bird nest related stuff.
1) bird nest cold dish
2) bird nest soup
3) stew mushrooms with bird nest
4) roasted pork with bird nest sauce
5) steamed sea bass with errr... bird nest sauce again???
6 - 8) ms fu... u shd like know what's on the menu right???
9) bird nest ee fu noodle or fried rice kinda thing
10) bird nest egg tart

haha* oh ya. like those chocs you bring home from the wedding dinner? u bring home a year supply of bird nest. haha* ms fu min wei's wedding dinner.

2005-03-29T20:53:00.000+08:00

wake up. brush up. change out. perked up. and *bam* u realised that you're living the life of a ~~rich~~ ~~and~~ famous.
courtesy of someone, whose gap is probably that of mr B's waist. ( ha* decipher that. )

trust me, being well known overnight isn't a very nice thing.

-OKIE. i so dun wana scold tt word, but i really have to. can you like FUCK OFF? i know you'll like NEVER GET TO READ MY BLOG, but like STOP TELLING ME ABOUT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE U STUPID ARSE. like NO ONE, literally NO ONE will FALL FOR U. so fark off.-

oh sorry for the sudden digression, but yes, some thoughts that ran through my mind after receiving a very disturbing sms. so ya, where was i? oh yes, famous in a negative way of course. like 4 people get to read your blog, and like one of them's the crux of your entry(s). shiat. so dead.

then again, it's impossible for me to go,

"OMG, he's like the COOLEST guy on earth. i SO think that he's CUTE?!" ( hypocritical as it is. )

but, i shall be nice anyway. well, for the sake of money? ( haha* )

seriously, he ain't that bad. gentleman enough to err... pay for his girlfriend's cab fare? err... gentleman enough to call me les? oh but well, he ain't that bad. ( is this what he wants to see? ) oh okie, this shall be it. so, please note that you are now under my COOL GUY list? haha* okie, at least you hang out with a cool guy. haha* opps.

disregarding that ( for the moment ), i really need to do something. like grades suck? ODD? as in really O D D and that's for the TESTS that have loomed and crushed me over the past 3 months. with a crushing grade.

secondly, an irritating arse ( sounds so vulgar. okie, lets call him mr.fugly. just as bad. but well, he is THAT bad. ) so yes, mr.fugly MUST get out of my life like NOW. if he like smses me again, i'm gonna go scolding pretty unpleasant stuff ( negative externality ) and so, like i'm gonna do a poll like here? 1 - I'M A LESBIAN. 2 - I'M ATTACHED? err... 3 - I'M A LESBIAN AND I'M ATTACHED?

actually i have to say that i'm lesbian since i already told him i'm lesbian. but, i dun wana cut my hair!!!!!!! omg, such sacrifice.

i think there is this very wrong aura around me. attract like poles - UGLY ppl. boo. haha* well.

2005-03-27T15:24:00.000+08:00

just wondering if my life has indeed become less fortunate after that stupid series of unfortunate events movie.

things don't seem to be going my way.

my spelling is getting from bad to worse.

2005-03-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

ahem, announcement. dearest ms fu ( not me of course ) finally no more single. haha* [ eh u owe mi a treat la. i said before our bdae de lor. hoohoo* so, coffee club? not forgetting my armani wallet. ]

finally i'm gonna be richer. haha* shall remove all discrimination and hatred for him ( calling me lesbian ), since i'm going to get a quarter of the enormous wealth. haha* right. i'm dreaming.

oh yes, i really really really need help to turn myself into a lesbian, a butch will do too. any ideas ppl? like i need to get a v.funky hairstyle and everything. i know it sounds stupid. but i just need to get rid of an idiot who asked me out, to K BOX? asshole.

i'm not trying to say that i'm way better than you in anywhere. i didn't want to despise you. like what you said, "maybe i'm just too insignificant to her" - LIKE DUH. you know it, then scram. irritant. i can't imagine myself ruining my reputation of a perfectly straight girl, just because i WANT TO MAKE U SCRAM AND STOP IRRITATING ME?

luckily ms fu msged me yesterday. if not i would have just gone bonkers. really have no idea what to do now. maybe i should go for a new haircut, and get more sports bra. erm what else can i do? ideas?

2005-03-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

entertainment daily.

- one of my sec sch friends got married last year.
- another one gave birth in march. wonder if she's married tho.

a marriage certificate or a kid can't make a huge difference when he doesn't love you anymore. the only reason he may stay with you, is because it's a responsibility and obligation for him to.

being attached, i suppose, is no longer about simply liking your other half. rather, it seemed to have mutated into a status thing.

prioritisation of course, is totally different too. like boyfriends first, friends later. cynical me just hope that they'd break up, and her friends would just dump her aside, let her live in solitude.

like what someone said, i've never been through a relationship, so i LOOK FORWARD to a relationship like that of a moment to remember. however, this someone should reflect and go check out if he/she understands the true meaning of love. i suppose one wouldn't have to go through a relationship to understand the meaning of love. in fact, a relationship is probably another channel for you to understand the true meaning of love better. assuming that you CHERISH the other half, which of course, this someone does not.

enough about love and romance.

super fun day out with the peeps. disregarding the fact that nancy left without a word yesterday, and vanished from singapore, and went back to her homeland where there's an intrinsically useless police force and active demonstrators outside the singapore embassy. so much for bilateral ties. oh yes, forgot to mention that she went back because there MAYBE a wedding. wow, a wedding more urgent than that of shotgun.

and disregarding that we didn't have a very nice lunch, small omelette and crown prince swensens, and a very unfortunate movie at cine. pretty disappointing for these two aspects. but the banana crumble made up fer these. C=

a year and 4 months since all four of us took pics. christina seemed pretty amazed by our friendship. hopefully this won't be the last year that we're going out.

shall meet up with hippo again on tuesday. it's k box and the eye 10. hmm, actually i won't mind sacrificing the latter. shall listen to ms fu's critics first.

yes, JEFFREY IS STAYING. wohoo! C=

life rocks.

2005-03-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

reasons why i want to avoid this RICH GUY. Simply because he :

- Spoils the image i have of a korean hunk ( although he's a wannabe )
- Will condemn my e810c ( he condemns slide phones )
- supposedly suffers from mental disorder? ( wears a jacket when it's 33 degree celcius? well. )
- has this fetish for STREETWEAR. ( eww... )
- is against roxy, ripcurl, etc. ( i.e surf brands. boo. )
- calls people, rather, person ( i.e ME ) a LESBIAN??? omg. FAINT.
- calls me DAO?!?! ( i'm so going to explode. )
- has BRACES. ( ewwwwwwww. )
- smokes? i mean i don't condemn people who smoke!?! but, it's just him.

eeeeeeee. so what if i'm avoiding you?! eeeeek. well, he's RICH. haha* OKAY, pray tt he don't see my blog? well ms fu doesn't go against the attraction of MONEY. so obviously... yup. shall not elaborate.

oh yes, went out with ms fu today. she's one crazy woman, rather, article. the MRT experience isn't very forgettable i suppose. really a DISGRACE to be with her. hahahaha* don't u AGREE?

TM is supposedly jinxed, at least for me. first i lost my money. now i lose my school badge. wonder what's next. oh ya, met lotsa cvss graduates in tampines area. met jansen the second time like this month? from heerens to pizza hut at TM. ( shopping to working. ) well, pretty obvious tt he is settling for poly. tot he wld have gone to meridian tho.

tt's abt it. a crazy day with ms fu at TM. haha* oh yes, haagen daz is not cheap. i knew tt. but it is diabetic too. not value for money.

gone decorating my handbook.

2005-03-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

is it the things around me?
or is it just myself?

sometimes i really wonder what is happening to my head. it never seem to stop hurting whenever i have to attend to something important.

even my civics tutor thinks that you can make it to school despite having headaches. well, i even go to school when i'm having some darn 'sexy' voice and irritating nose block. but sometimes, the headache is just killing you. if only she knows i suffer from migraine.

poor ras. really wonder what is happening over at debate now. can see tt she really feels darn screwed up.

2005-03-18T12:22:00.000+08:00

Talk of the town - Where to go after A levels.

Go flip through the newpapers, you'll probably see 1/2 of the newspapers covered with advertisements of the various instituitions, about the degrees they offer, yada yada.

Grades is an issue. To achieve AAB A2 seems virtually impossible. This is my aim. If only this can be realised. Of course, i HAVE to put in loads of effort. so what if i achieve this grade? yes, i will have like a GALORE of choices ( to a certain extent ).

don't think i want to go into nus law school anymore. i will probably struggle and get suffocated by the environment there. ( one of my seniors, who attends practically EVERY yr 1 ( she's a yr 2 at that pt of time ) history lecture is heading for for law school... ) what makes you think i can survive in such environment?

ntu masscomm. haha* FORGET IT. won't want to go to a hospital environment to study. another GREEN area. NO WAY.

really interested in LSE. well, that remains as a dream. what if i can make it there? i can't bear to leave this place. not about being patriotic or the NE inculcated by the education system. it's the people. my parents, friends, relatives, and someone.

then again, it remains as a dream, and a what if.

2005-03-18T12:11:00.000+08:00

green is EVERYWHERE, at least for me.

ever since i chose TJC as my second choice for PAE, i'm stuck with GREEN.

- GREEN uniform
- GREEN school environment

log into friendster. the first colour that greets you - GREEN.

what on earth is happening to my life??? i don't wanna be stuck with green all my life. eek!

2005-03-17T20:27:00.000+08:00

life can never be better for me during this march hols. there's no MCT!!! it's just replaced by GP, CHINESE A, BALA's and THOMPSON's HISTORY TESTS. excited? definitely not.

Actually, everyone has the "Bisexual tendancy". The only reason you may think you don't have such tendancies, is because you don't really have much idea of yourself. This may sound extremely defensive, but seriously, i don't believe that he is the only one with such tendancies!!! ahhhhhhh, i do have the tendancy to scream out loud NOW. ( or maybe at macs just now. )

Pretty depressing. on a lighter note, he knows how to admire guys as well. so, he might not be that egoistic right??? maybe i should stop "deceiting" myself. haha* ( look at TJ's english. tsk tsk. well, a YEAR THREE said that. names shall not be mentioned. )
gonna meet up with the bunch on good friday. wohoo!!! really really miss this bunch. haven't seen them in a million years. but i really meet kelly so often that i don't even see much of a change in her each time we meet up. hopefully WENDY is free ( the rest have blocked that day, EXCEPT YOU!!! hmmph. ).

irritating ms fu just cannot come with a proper bag. 1st was a black paper bag, then a plastic box file. what's next? NTUC plastic bag? of course, this gives me another option for her b'day gift. so ms fu, what do you want? she really can irritate the hell out of you.

- goes to the washroom every dunno-how-many-minutes
- stuck in a dumb lunch situation. btwn a good friend and a _________.
- never seem to be able to get _______ to be punctual.
- she has a difficult to handle friend. ( not WENLIN of course! )
- luckily, she has a very cute funny friend - WENLIN!

headed for garden's coffee bean. PACKED. everyone's mugging for their MCTs. so manda ended up at home surfing the net. ( i know i lack alot of links, but i'm not very bothered to type the details. )

gonna catch a horror movie with leen, the eye number dunno what. of course, this was her suggestion. my prediction - a FRIEND of hers will be catching it with her. well, she just denied this possibility. by the way, going to pass a pressie to a friend of mine that day. that's all!

2005-03-14T21:38:00.000+08:00

i can't stand yukiko in the drama serial. her existence just becomes redundant. in fact, she is an external externality of her parents' reproduction. stupid character, stupid attitude. thinking that she's the pretiest on earth. if only she is disfigured. haha*

yes, things are happy now. really hope that school will never reopen.

oh yes, i'm no longer the honorary treasurer.. but sadly, i'm still in the dumb committee. despite begging and reasoning, things just don't seem to work. well, ed and i have a pact - we are not going for any meetings from now on. C=

2005-03-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

In 1987 (the year you were born)

Ronald Reagan is president of the US
Wall Street crashes sending the Dow Jones Industrial average down 22.6%
President Reagan and Soviet Leader Gorbachev sign an unprecedented missile reduction agreement
Televangelist Jim Bakker resigns amid accusations of sexual infidelity and financial impropriety
Wall Street financier Ivan Boesky is sentenced to three years in prison in an insider trading scandalGary Hart withdraws from the 1988 presidential campaign under accusations of infidelity
The Food and Drug Administration approves anti-AIDS drug AZT
Prozac makes its debut in the USBow Wow, Joss Stone, and Hilary Duff are born
Minnesota Twins win the World SeriesNew York Giants win Superbowl XXI
Edmonton Oilers win the Stanley Cup
Three Men and a Baby is the top grossing film
"Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles spends the most time at the top of the US charts
Full House, Married with Children, and Star Trek: The Next Generation premiere

2005-03-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

I am HAPPY. C=

Life is much better now. the soap opera has finally arrived at the finale. lead actress ( me ) no longer talks to the producer. the other lead actress however, continues to be the SUPPORTIVE friend of the producer. HA* seems to me like the other actress, okie, put it in a less confusing way, the director ( not that she is mean, i mean, i don't mean that SOMEONE else is mean, but, the director seemed to have brought this entire situation to such a quick end. ) seems to be on better terms with the producer now. director seems to be like making a great sacrifice, in order for the 2 lead actresses to be less tortured. just don't know how to put it across to her like she don't have to put herself in such a spot? why put yourself through such torment? this is probably what you call a sacrifice. i really appreciate it.

now that the soap opera has come to an end. i shall declare that the 2 lead actresses are leen and i. got leen the anklet that she thought was pretty from perlini's silver and a letter. ( well, perlini's silver is having discount now. go check it out. ) so, this crazy gurl started crying in the bus. erm, yes, laughing and crying. so glad that i wasn't with her. hahaha* ruin my reputation. hee*

really appreciate leen. tho dumbo yws questioned my 'straightness'. i would have said that i'm les if he was *leen, u noe.* maybe guys just don't understand women's sensitivity. ( probably that's why we are of different genders. ) well, maybe he might think that friends don't deserve that much care, concern and sometimes tears. guys, gurls don't just cry for YOU. boo. aniwaes, really super duper happy that leen could see from my pt of view. *so touched* leen, tnks for everything man. sometimes, just run out of words to express what i want to say ( which explains my GP grade. ) simply treasure this friendship.

caught hitch with wulandari. yes, we skipped BP mentoring shit. haha* oops. went all the way to NP and we decided to rot at KAP. domination of hcjc. inferior man. :( oh, found a cute hcjc guy. wulan's friend. hmm.. ATTACHED. :( haha* well, eye candy of the day. hitch rawks. seriously, go catch it. rather than BOOGEYMAN. hahahaha* rite leen???

2005-03-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

this was supposed to be yesterday's entry.

the showdown ( climax ) was today. interesting as it was, the show didn't go my way this morning. wanted to sit with the other lead actress, but apparently she had to hang out with the producer. so, imposed junnie's group for that whole 45 mins, which i felt was really dreary. can you imagine imposing the other clique just because of your own problem. WAIT. i mean, SOMEONE else's ( i.e PRODUCER ) problem, and ya, it became, don't know how, MY PROBLEM. really, fuggingly pissed.

couldn't take it anymore. LITERALLY dragged the other lead actress towards the humanities room. well, the climax ( and anti-climax ) came in here. i was happily looking and admiring the gift dearest other lead actress gave me, when suddenly, my phone vibrated. WOW!!! PRODUCER msged me!!!

"u and ____ the same, owaes gif me lian se kan. i am sick of guessing ur feelings. show me that face like as if i juz killed your entire family n ignore me. it sux." ^{this is not the exact sms, but it is almoz the same. i quote the BOLD bits.} like hello producer, your family kanna killed, mine still haven't la. fugging shit. but anyways, i told the producer that i simply hate this dumb threesome thingy.

now guess what? she probably thinks that she is the legitimate one and i am the one applying for some threesome club. like hello, who is the INTRUDER? i seriously would like to ostracise you, only if i could, i would.

your words are scary. i've never seen someone scarier than you. can you imagine, after falling out with someone so close to you and you now turn your back against her, just because you are trying to build another friendship that you deem to be plausible. let me tell you, NO WAY. don't make yourself seem like you are trying to accomadate me, you know why, it sounds terribly gross. seriously, i would be ashamed if i were to be in whatever threeish group with you. seriously, i won't want to live in fear everyday, having to think what is the next scary thing you might say to either me or someone else. UGH.

of course, the other lead actress may not agree with what i say. maybe she listened it from the horse's mouth, making it more believable. but from a secondary source, seriously, nothing more than propaganda. it just sounds like some boot licking and trying to make us sound angelic, and tada, the threeish group is formed. BOO. stop dreaming.

think i've never had so much grouses in tj before, rather, in my entire lifetime? of course, i TRIED not to take sides, and look at it from a wider perspective. but seriously, i think the facts are already reflected, and yes, the statistics don't seem very favourable for you. statistics of what, go figure it out.

really hope my class chairman attends school asap, maybe in that way, the soap opera would come to an end. maybe i should start thinking about tomorrow's lessons. she really should stay far far away from me. it has never occured to me that a person, who was once so close to me, was this scary.

2005-03-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

SO many things happened just within a day. like the climax of some drama serial. hopefully, the finale will arrive soon. seriously, i don't even know who is the director of this serial, rather, soap opera. of course, it is rather obvious who the PRODUCER is. ( cum lead actress )

like wad leen said "overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts, yada yada." ( amazed by her "shi qing hua yi"-ness. )

it was less than 24 hours since i heard ALL that i missed out during my 1 and a quarter year in tjc. when you begin to look at things from the hindsight, you will probably realise how grosteque some things can be.

it was less than 18 hours since i last cried like shit because of this idiotic mess. really want to thank alot of people who gave me the support and advice... especially eeee*, junnie, tai tai... if not for you guys, i'll probably be still crying and facing this all myself.

it was also less than 12 hours since i told leen about the whole truth and my "feelings, thoughts, yada yada" about this shit. of course, it was less than 12 hours than leen got flabberghasted and, grossed out?

it was less than 6 hours before i met up with leen at compass point ( for mac flurry ) and headed for j8 to walk around and take pics. guess we bitched for a long long long time before we met up at cp and after we parted at j8. i really really really cheered up alot after meeting up with leen to bitch, slack and rot. can't imagine if we really would have to drift apart.

always thought that leen would be happier if she have someone else as her best pal in tjc. always thought that i'm not good enough a friend to be her best pal here. sometimes, just think that maybe if i leave her with the friend i deem to be good enough as her best pal would make her happier. but maybe, i'm wrong after all.

had a heart to heart talk over the i-don't-know-how-many-hours. so glad we told each other everything. the worsening of the friendship problem is literally spine-chilling. ( sounds like some ghost story, but it is probably that scary. ) was so afraid that the domino theory would apply in friendships as well. but i'm really fortunate that there is a pivotal point in this vicious cycle. ( you probably can use stupid theories like injections and withdrawals to explain this. but ya, it's econs. )

now i can only hope that leen and i can have a strong friendship. hopefully, this bond cannot be broken. after examining our timetable, we realised that we can only spend 6 periods, which is 4 and a half hours with each other in the entire week. short as it is, but i don't think we really have much of a choice. if only we can learn to be like someone ( producer ), than probably this vicious cycle would end here. and the whole soap opera would arrive at its finale, like tomorrow.

you'll probably question why we cannot just let this soap opera come to a closure. simply because we cannot bring ourselves to do what she has done. "what goes around, comes around" karma, i guess. but sometimes, i can't help but entertain the thought of breaking this "karma" thingy. then again, if she has already realised that she pissed me off, it's time she start to wonder WHY she pissed me off. and next, HOW she can NOT piss me off any further.

the only way that leen and i can probably communicate is through sms ( when she is with the producer ), that is for ALL GP, ECONS, CIVICS, C MATHS, COMMON LUNCH BREAKS, BREAKS _{( that i MAY or MAY NOT have - i shall not explicitly spell out the breaks - though i must say that i DO NOT have breaks for HISTORY, ECONS, CHINESE A, GP and AO MATHS - which leaves me with breaks during GEOGRAPHY, ART, MATHS, LEP )}. OPPS, did i kind of spell out the producer's combination? SO SORRY. bleah. and yea, communicate through our only SIX periods in a WEEK - chinese A. i really do cherish chinese A lessons from now on. hopefully lao shi will allow me to talk more, please... boo.

i've thought it through, can't be as nice as i thought i can be. shall grab leen to sit with me during GP tomorrow morning. if i did not follow the script, producer, very sorry. sometimes, you don't just take tom, dick or harry to be your spare tyre. do spare a thought for them, though they have very normal names. ( yes, i know it's lame. ) so, don't think you can determine their roles. sometimes, they can live better off without your existence.

i know i will feel extremely tremendously bad tomorrow morning if the producer is left with no one to sit with. hence, people who are reading my blog, and you know who the producer is, kindly provide a seat for her? haha* okie, at least don't make me feel so bad? if not, i'll probably donate leen back to the spare tyre role.

i am mean, selfish and bad. i admit.

LEEN - YOU ROCK.

2005-03-06T14:14:00.000+08:00

ain't blogs supposed to serve as a platform for us to express our true feelings of a particular matter or event?

but it seems like alot of issues that i have raised in my blog seemed to have made known to alot of people.

isn't it obvious that when i post the entries instead of relating it to people a signal that i just want to vent my frustrations? it is only by expressing it here will i be able to prevent things from worsening. ( assuming that no one relates the content of the blog )

thus, think before telling people contents of blogs.

-creating a new blog add soon. i'll give you guys ( ya u know who u are ) the add.-

2005-03-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

the two entries before this sounded alil overbearring, rather, not politically correct. hence, in order to prevent another conflict in my class i decided to pick out the politically correct bits.

FUGLY SHIT. so pissed. these are some of the statistics:Out of 10 people whom i've begged for money,- 5 walked past me when i said "excuse me, would you..."
- 3 SHUNNED me.
- 2 courteously said "NO" or "I HAVE NO CHANGE" when she hit her pocket and the coins just "jingled". OH HOW NICE.
- ONLY one n ONLY one gave me about 20 cents.

and i think i asked almost a hundred people?

may those 9 out of 10 people be the cause of the donation in future. boo.

fortunately, the senior citizens helped me quite abit. BUT, idiotic caucasians didn't even donate a single cent. how generous.

i really must give credit to kelly's father. seriously generous. gave me a whole handful of coins when i visited his shop. if not for him, i would have slapped someone ~~who made me extremely pissed~~.

SO leen, you prolly know who i'm referring to eh? yup, seriously la, dun think it's very possible for me to hang out with her. short term maybe, not long term. so yea, other day if wana go out with her, dun ask me k? i suppose i will flare up like today again. boo.

Anyway, the problem probably lies with me and me alone. i have a seriously strong intuition that i really will drift away from leen. well leen, my intuition is almost, never wrong.

so yup, i have decided to sit with tai tai, jun xian n guo hao for econs this coming monday. decided.

2005-03-05T14:14:00.000+08:00

top arts student: jonathan koh.

wohoo.

heard tjc did quite well this year. does this spell hope for us?

i wonder.

2005-03-03T10:58:00.000+08:00

decided to place that entry as a private post. thought through quite alot. maybe if dey would have read that post, then everything would be a mess. maybe, this is why my friend ended up in this vicious cycle of becoming very emotional. eventually, the only outcome would be her friend becoming pissed.

so i have entered this vicious cycle. this is just the first step. i really hope to step out of this quicksand. can someone tell me how?

anonymous - whoever you are, i wana thank you for giving me that piece of advice. if u have any problems, share it with your friends okie... i believe that you don't have to face so many limitations when 'confronting' your friends..

eileen ee - hey gurl... thanks alot! never knew that someone has the same feelings as me. now that you don't face the problem anymore, must teach me how to get out of this okie...

so, there are alot of people around me to help. now the only person who is dragging me down is myself. cried for quite awhile yesterday night. if only my junior can understand this, i would have shared it with him. rather, i don't think he'll ever bother about it.

2005-02-28T20:38:00.000+08:00

i resolve to start studying ( i know i always say this, futile attempts though. ).

maybe i just cannot accept the fact that those dragoon, i mean dragon babies, did better than my batch. can't imagine the competition that we will face in future.